Back to Square one

for ex-Brahma Kumaris, to discuss matters related to their experiences in BKWSU & after leaving.
Post Reply
worldpeace
ex-BK
Posts: 53
Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Location: Bangalore

Back to Square one

Post by worldpeace » 17 Aug 2006

I know I am getting personal, but I am not able to ressist myself. Are there BK/PBK/x-BK who are/whom you know left Gyan and got back in to a normal lokik life?

My urge to get back to Gyan, hmmm rather an individual life is increasing with time. But I have travelled a bit far (by Indian standards) to get back in to Gyan. I have committed myself for a personal relationship. I hope I am conveying what I intend to. But is it a call from God?

Or is it my attraction towards worldly pleasures overpowering my urge to get back to Gyan/God ( I mean a as Pukka child/Purusharthi fighting against all the vices and imbibing all the virtues)???
  • Am I missing a once-in-a-5000 year chance?
    Am I trying to find an escape route giving lame reasons??
:? :(

User avatar
mr green
ex-BK
Posts: 1100
Joined: 07 Apr 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK

Post by mr green » 17 Aug 2006

That is a tough question and I feel for you.

But if you are unsure then I don't think it'll help you to go back. In fact, I think it might not help your head, but that is only an opinion, good luck friend.

User avatar
john
Reforming BK
Posts: 1606
Joined: 03 May 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Location: UK

Post by john » 17 Aug 2006

In the end you have to do what you think/feel is best.

I don't think having a relationship should discount you from following the BK path. Bear in mind no one is yet perfect/pure and Shiva says this is the householder path, not sanyasis, which is symbolic of leaving your family as sanyasis do.

I say take what you can from Shiva and Gyan and let it grow and maybe in the future things will become clearer for you.

Also you should try and get answers from Murli and not just take senior sisters word.

Good luck in finding your path

worldpeace
ex-BK
Posts: 53
Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Location: Bangalore

Post by worldpeace » 18 Aug 2006

Thanks Mr Green and John, your concern is comforting me.
john wrote:I say take what you can from Shiva and Gyan and let it grow and maybe in the future things will become clearer for you.
I hope for the same. I am trying to get in touch with some BKs atleast to keep me updated and get access to Murlis. But you know, its not that easy in India. May be PBKs are more open ... I should try there ...

User avatar
john
Reforming BK
Posts: 1606
Joined: 03 May 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Location: UK

Post by john » 18 Aug 2006

PBKs seem to be a lot more open. If you can read Hindi, then you could be well away because it has been said they have the entire 5 year stock of Murli in Hindi!

The person with the best connection on this forum seems to be Arjun.

worldpeace
ex-BK
Posts: 53
Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Location: Bangalore

Post by worldpeace » 18 Aug 2006

That would be great. In fact, I prefer reading Murlis in Hindi.

Thanks for the information. I need to contact Arjun Bhai.

User avatar
howiemac
ex-BK
Posts: 146
Joined: 08 Apr 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BKWSU
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: Brahmin soul, formerly with BKWSU, now independent
Location: Scotland
Contact:

Re: Back to Square one

Post by howiemac » 18 Aug 2006

worldpeace wrote:Are there BK/PBK/x-BK who are/whom you know left Gyan and got back in to a normal lokik life?
I am friends with a couple of former BKs who hare now married to each other, and have re-integrated into the non-BK community, and are now living a fulfilling life outside the BKs. They are not anti-BK and still retain contact with certain BKs. I know of a number of other former BKs, who, since they left, have married or had intimate relationships, some very long term. They may have had difficulties adjusting to life outside the BKs, especially those who entered the BKs when young, those who stayed for many years, and those who have lived in centres - but there are many who have returned successfully to "normal" life after the BK experience. I suspect though, that all remain touched in some way or other by their BK experience.

All those that I know, or have contact with, are "double foreigners", and I appreciate that BK culture is different in India (no matter what the Murlis claim). But I would have thought your circumstances might be easier in India than it is for us abroad, due to the BK "laity" that exists - however, I am not recommending that you return - only you can make that choice.

God's love and support is available to every human being, whether BK or not. Don't believe what the BKs told you - to leave the BKs does not mean to leave God. Human relationships are natural and normal - the BK way is not normal or natural. Every one of us has a different role and a different destiny - each one of us must look within ourselves and find what is right for us. Follow your own star :)

worldpeace
ex-BK
Posts: 53
Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Location: Bangalore

Post by worldpeace » 18 Aug 2006

But I would have thought your circumstances might be easier in India than it is for us abroad, due to the BK "laity" that exists
Yes, the laity exists ... but most of the time I found it to be people who were unable to give up Bhakti ... Yes, for many people this (Gyan/Yoga/BKism) is a routine excercise ... just like visiting a temple, something you are supposed to do but never thought why ... A national psyche which says that there should something non-worldly in your life, never bother to get deep though ... so you know that we have largest number of Sadgurus/Matas/all kinds of Babas (non-BK) ... we just cant live without that :x :lol:

To me Bakthi (Dheen - to put it in Islamic terms), which preached being a servant to God, to be at the mercy of GOD and so on always seemed illogical and was briefly an athiest before I came to BK ... and immediately developed a superiority complex after my entry in to Gyan ... thought YES, I AM AT IT AT LAST ... the ideas of somebody (a pukka brahmin, which I thought I was) leaving Gyan was crazy, ridiculous ...

Hmmm ... I have different role now :) No more complexes ...

Peace

User avatar
paulkershaw
ex-BK
Posts: 684
Joined: 11 Dec 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BKWSU
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: I am an ex-teacher and member of the BKWSU and my interest lies in assisting those who request support on any level I can.
Location: South Africa

Post by paulkershaw » 18 Jan 2007

Hi ex Bk

I am an ex BK in South Africa and I have read your post. Bearing in mind that each one of us in an individual with our own belief systems and ways of looking at life, I wanted to share with you that I have returned back to normal 'lokik' life and am extremely happy, in a long term committed relationship and working in several fields of interest including healing and massage therapy. It has certainly been a few years of trials and tribulations and having to work on the many issues which arise in MY life and now and again I still have to look at things in a different way. I still lead a spiritual lifestyle but in a way which suits me, I still run a weekly meditation group but I keep Raja Yoga out of it and have made it a general group experience, which has been very successful.

If you are asking for guidance on this level then all I can really say is that you should check within yourself as to how you really feel, if Gyan/knowledge comes up in your feelings, you may possibly only be responding to a learnt belief system - so just ask "How do I really feel?" and the answer will come over time. I have found this little skill to be quite useful as it makes me think beyond the learnt BK beliefs and I have learnt that if I don't feel LOVE for myself or for others then I need to respond within differently, although anger does emerge now and again but I am OK with that; I am human.

Hope this is making sense to you? and of course you're welcome to email or PPM me anytime if I can offer any further insight into MY life, which may perhaps assist you to move forward.

With great love
P

worldpeace
ex-BK
Posts: 53
Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Location: Bangalore

Post by worldpeace » 18 Jan 2007

Thanks a lot paulkershaw. Your reply is comforting.

Welcome to the forum. I will surely get to you when I am faced with a dilemma. Hope your insight will be of good help to me in moving forward.

User avatar
proy
ex-BK
Posts: 489
Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: Started as BK became ex-BK here

Re: Back to Square one

Post by proy » 29 Jan 2007

worldpeace wrote:I know I am getting personal, but I am not able to ressist myself. Are there BK/PBK/x-BK who are/whom you know left Gyan and got back in to a normal lokik life?
Yes, I am happy to report that I am completely back to a normal lokik life. It was a bit of a struggle for a while, especially on the psychic level, but I am back to normal now. I am also friends of the couple Howiemac referred to, and they are OK too.

There must be many of us. In fact I know there are. Some of them just stopped Posting on this forum. Some of them never posted at all. The common thread is that they are all well and back to normal. This forum is very important but it can seem like a little world of its own. We will never know how many paople have been helped by the people who post here. From my own experience it must be a huge number. Most of them are invisible to us because they just read the forum, and that is enough for them to get back to normal, they never even register as members or think about posting. If I know so many people who have been helped here but never show up here, and I live in a very quiet part of the world, then the numbers who have been helped must be enormous. I think it is maybe different in India, or more difficult?

How are you getting on now?

My own wife and I have a happy married life and still feel that we are in touch with God all the time. God never stops loving us. We can not offend God, it is impossible, only human beings can be that small minded.

Best wishes to you, and feel free to send me a private message anytime.

User avatar
joel
ex-BK
Posts: 440
Joined: 01 May 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: I was an active BK for 12 years. That was long ago. Now I am just a person.

Re: Back to Square one

Post by joel » 31 Jan 2007

worldpeace wrote:I know I am getting personal, but I am not able to ressist myself. Are there BK/PBK/x-BK who are/whom you know left Gyan and got back in to a normal lokik life? My urge to get back to Gyan, hmmm rather an individual life is increasing with time. But I have travelled a bit far (by Indian standards) to get back in to Gyan. I have committed myself for a personal relationship. I hope I am conveying what I intend to. But is it a call from God? ...
I am arriving a bit late, having been locked out of my account for some weeks. Others have written wisely, insightfully, compassionately.

What I might add is this: What if someone were listening to your story, and whatever you spoke of your heart's desires, whether affection expressed through physical touch, whether spiritual discipline and attainment, the savoring of food, the achievements of work through mind and hands, whatever it was, this compassionate listener would nod with understanding, appreciating your legitimate wants and needs? How would you feel?

What if all your desires were legitimate? Perhaps as you went through the list, some would stand out, having more emotionally energy connected with them. Some might be connected with anger, rage, the desire to punish, to seek vengeance, to control. Others might be connected to a desire to escape. What if you were with someone who trusted that you could speak about any of them, and that as you spoke, you could feel the emptiness and pain behind them, feel that it is okay to want what you want, could feel that the world and God will not suffer from their fulfillment, to feel that as you become sensitive to your own hurts, you could find ways to resolve them and satisfy your heart without injury to others?

I think it is a fallacy that human desire can be confined or obliterated. Although some do succeed, it is often at great personal cost. Many people have shuttled back and forth between the austere lifestyle of the BKs and more permissive lifestyles where the various facets of the self are accepted in entirety, and in trust of one's own judgment.

At some stages in our lives, we want an outside authority to tell us right and wrong, to channel our life energy, to provide us the community we seek. Ultimately, we make our own life decisions. So I wish you luck with yours. Surely you will learn and grow from whatever decisions you make. If it could all be prescribed in advance we wouldn't need to live at all.

Regarding your question about whether people have left Gyan and built healthy, fulfilling lives (you used the world 'normal'), I think the answer is yes. Probably many more have left Gyan for a 'normal' life than will ever be in 'Gyan'. Certainly for me, I feel healthier now than when I was forcing myself to get up early, and was actively 'gyanifying' my thought processes. Yet some leave and carry a lifetime of regret. Who can say how a particular person will react or what is right for them? That's why all such decisions are highly personal.
Your call.

--Joel

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests