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fluffy bunny
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Post by fluffy bunny » 22 Jun 2007

Two ex-BKs are bumped into each other at a BK mega-programme.

One asks the other, "So, what do you think of Sister Jayanti?"
"I cannot tell you here", she replies. "Follow me."

They leave Global Cooperation House and disappear down a side street ...

"Now tell me what you think of Sister Jayanti", says the first ex-BK again.
"No, no. Not here", says the other, leading him into the hallway of an apartment block. "OK, here then ..."

"No, not here. It's not safe." The second replies.

They walk down the stairs into the deserted basement of the building.

"OK, now you can tell me what you think of our Senior Sister!"

"Well ...", says the second ex-BK, looking around nervously, "actually, I quite like her."

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Post by bansy » 29 Jun 2007

I am glad someone else got the joke ...
OK, Yudhistra, you want songs and since it's Friday, as we've had Tshirts and movies, so humour time again with ... songs everyone is welcome to jingle. Some of ones in mainstream pop:
  • Status Quo - Rocking All Over the World
    Beach Boys - Good Vibrations
    Abba - Does (Your) Mama Know
    Spandau Ballet - Round and Round We Go (Re: Drama)
    Steely Dan - Ricky Don't Lose That Number
    Tears For Fears - Everybody wants to rule the world
    Boney M - Dadi cool
    In Deep - Last Night a BK Saved My Life
    Dawn - Tie a Yellow Rakhi Round the Old Oak Tree
    Manfred Mann - Blinded By the Light
:P

Abek should be onto this :wink:


Others

Crowded House - Don't Dream It's Over
Cyndi Lauper - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Sister Sledge - We Are Family
Hair Cut 100 - Love plus 100 (or is it 108?)
Human League - I am Only Human
Simply Red - Holding Back the Years (or is it Murlis)
Phil Fearon and Galaxy - What Do I Do
Talking Heads - (Abu) Road to Nowhere
Madness - Baggy Khurtas
Thin Lizzy - The Dadis Are Back In town
Stealers Wheel - Stuck in the Middle with You (i.e Vishnu)
Terry Jacks - (BapDada) Seasons in the Sun
Take That/Tavares - It Only takes A Minute
Wham - Wake Me Up Before You Go Go to the Murli class
Pulp - Disco2036
Police - Every Toli You Take
Pet Shop Boys - New York City Kumars and West End Kumaris
Blur - Peace Parklife

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Post by alladin » 29 Jun 2007

Yes, we are facing the challenge Yudihishtra nicely defined. We are here to support each other in this sifting process which is very personal as well as collective. I do not deny any of the good experiences or achievements I had in Gyan and I am still having. However I am intrigued by what's going on in the organisation, and having an investigative attitude means we are not passive. We are on a quest.

This keeps us alive spiritually and gives us self-esteem, appreciation of our capacity to change, rationalize and being subtle at the same time. I feel very lucky that it ended up this way; I did not become a zombie, controlled by other humans, I did not drop out feeling cheated and become depressed.

I did not get the disease of "not even want to think about it all or hear about them ever again, I wasted enough time" which is a not fruitful, extreme reaction to the sorrow one has taken.

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Re: Status Quo at the BKSWU

Post by tinydot » 30 Jun 2007

john wrote:I've been thinking as to why the BKSWU only presents a certain limited amount of knowledge and history of itself. Only 5 years of Murli are for consumption, even though there are many more years worth. The history is presented rewritten and many, probably very important parts are left out. Why?
Is it not obvious that those other hidden Murlis are Prajapati Brahma's Murlis?

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Musicians will relate

Post by joel » 07 Jul 2007

A man wearing a beret attends a BK presentation. The lecturer is a young BK who exceeds himself, giving the entire 7-day course in one hour and forty minutes, including meditation commentary. The audience is spellbound, save the one man with a beret, who eyes are restless and seems unwilling to join the atmosphere of peace. At the end, the BK lecturer asks for questions from the audience.

The man calls out, "What do you think of Sonny Rollins?"

The BK answers, "a new soul."

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Post by yudhishtira » 07 Jul 2007

How many BKs does it take to put in a lightbulb?
  • 5

    1 to tell the person doing it how to do it and what they are doing wrong
    1 to sit and have Yoga for them
    1 to make the tea and bring toli for the workers
    and 1 to come along after the job is done and ask if there is anything they can do to help

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Post by fluffy bunny » 07 Jul 2007

  • 9
1 to screw the bulb in, then;
  • 1 to tell the person doing it how to do it and what they are doing wrong
    1 to sit and have Yoga for them
    1 to make the tea and bring toli for the workers
    1 to come along after the job is done and ask if there is anything they can do to help
    1 to quote a Murli point about how it should have been done
    1 to report back to the senior sisters that brothers and sisters were socializing with each other
    1 to give the old light bulb dhristi ...
and Dadi Janki to use the story to raise funds from Hindi businessmen to re-wire Baba Bhavan.

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abrahma kumar
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re-wire Baba

Post by abrahma kumar » 07 Jul 2007

For a moment there my brain registered re-write Baba. :oops:

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Post by arjun » 12 Jul 2007

Now enough of those BK jokes :wink: , try these one liners sent to me by a friend through email. :) Your jokes would pale before these :lol:.

Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"
Wife: "I couldn't lift the table."

******

"What did one ghost say to another?"
"Do you believe in people?"

******

My friend has a fine watch dog.
At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark.

******

They call our language the mother tongue because the Father seldom gets to speak.

******


When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.

******

"Where did you get those big eyes?"
"They came with the face."


******

A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.

******

"Has there been any insanity in your family?"
"Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."

******

I was thinking of becoming a doctor.
I have the handwriting for it.

******

"My wife doesn't know what she wants."
" You're lucky. My wife does."

******

We have a quiet home life. I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak to me.

******

"What do use for washing dishes?"
"Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best. "

******

"Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?"
"I ought to be able to. I've had 12 different jobs in four months

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alladin
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who wears trousers?

Post by alladin » 12 Jul 2007

Hi, a sexist joke some old greek man told me.

At the time when deities were playing tricks on humans, gods gathered and discussed the fact that although men seemed in power and they made such great warriors, philosophers and what not, behind the curtains, at home, women were the leaders. So, they decided to reward with a beautiful horse, any man who could prove that at home he was the boss.

Many tried to demonstrate that, but failed. Finally, one man seemed to have given enough evidence in order to get the prize. The gods said " OK, you won the horse, we will materialize it in front of you. For it to be yours, just tell us what colour of coat do you prefer. The man says, " Hold on a sec!" and, turning towards the kitchen shouts, " Maria, what colour you want for the horse?"

As you all already guessed, he lost the prize!!

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Post by zhuk » 12 Jul 2007

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:
Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope! Can you please help me?

Sincerely,

Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the old lady to God.

All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:
Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those thieving bastards at the Post Office.

Sincerely yours,

Edna
_____________________________________________________________________


Local joke but applies to politicians everywhere: In honour of the upcoming aust election ... (hello di!)

While on his morning walk, Prime Minister John Howard falls over, has a heart attack and dies because the accident and emergency ward at his nearest public hospital is too understaffed to treat him in time.

So his soul arrives in Heaven and he is met by St Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a Liberal around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in. I am a good Christian. I am a believer", says the PM.

"I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from God Himself, who says that since the implementation of His new HEAVEN CHOICES policy, you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you'll live for all eternity."

"But I've already made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," simpers Howard.

"I am sorry but we have our rules," Peter says firmly. And with that he escorts Howard to an elevator, which goes down, down, down ... all the way to Hell.


When the doors open Johnny finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course. The sun is shining in a cloudless sky. The temperature is a perfect 24 degrees. In the distance is a beautiful clubhouse, and standing in front of it is Bob Menzies and other Liberal Party luminaries who have helped him out over the years - Harold Holt, John Gorton, Billy McMahon - they're all there, and everyone is laughing, happy, and casually but expensively dressed.

They all run to greet him, hug him and start to reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of 'suckers and peasants.' They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

The Devil himself comes up to Howard with a frosty drink, "Have a tequila and relax, John!"

"Uh, I cannot drink any more, I took a pledge," says Howard, dejectedly.

"Hell, son, this is Hell! You can drink and eat all you want without a worry, and it just gets better from there!"

Howard takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil, who he thinks is a really very friendly bloke who tells funny jokes like himself and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like the ones the Liberals pulled with the GST and the US Free Trade Agreement promises.

They are having such a great time that, before he realises it it's time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as he steps on the elevator and heads upward. When the elevator door reopens he is in Heaven again and St Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven," the old man says, opening the gate.

So for 24 hours Howard is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other than money and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or short-arse joke among them.

No fancy country clubs here and, while the food tastes great, it's not caviar or lobster - and these people are all poor. Johnny doesn't see anybody he knows and he is not even treated like someone special.

"Whoa," he thinks to himself. "Bob Menzies never prepared me for this!"

The day done, St Peter returns. "Well, you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for eternity."

With the 'Deal or No Deal' theme playing softly in the background, Howard reflects for a minute ... then answers:

"Well, I would never have thought I'd say this - I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all, but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends." So St Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell.

When the elevator doors open he is in the middle of a barren, scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial waste. He is horrified to see his friends dressed in rags and chained together, picking up rubbish and putting it into black plastic bags. They groan and
moan in pain, their faces and hands black with grime.

The Devil comes over to Howard and puts an arm around his shoulder. "Welcome, John!"

"I don't understand," stammers a shocked Howard. "Yesterday there was a golf course and a club-house, and we ate lobster and caviar, and drank tequila; we lazed around and had a great time - now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!"

The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly and purrs, "Well, yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us!"

Apologies for the length :mrgreen:.

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arjun
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Post by arjun » 13 Jul 2007

Om Shanti. This is not a joke but related to jokes on Sardars (Sikhs) who are always made a subject of jokes, especially by other Indians. This has been sent to me by a friend through email:

In the diwali vacation, Jayant and his couple of friends had gone to Delhi . They rented a taxi for local sight-seeing. The driver was an old Sardar, and boys being boys, Jayant and his pals began cracking Sardarji jokes, just to insinuate the old man. But to their surprise, the fellow remained unperturbed. At the end of the sight-seeing, they paid up the hire-charges. The Sardar returned the change. Moreover, he gave each one of them one rupee extra and said, (in Hindi, of course),

''Son, since morning you have been telling Sardarji jokes. I listened to them all and let me tell you, some of them were in a very bad taste. Still, I don't mind because I know that you are young blood and are yet to see the world. But I have just one request. Here I am giving you one rupee each. Give it to the first Sardar beggar that you come across in this city."

Jayant continued," That one rupee coin is still with me. I couldn't find a single Sardar begging on the streets of Delhi ."

Friends, we all love sardar jokes. But the fact of matter is that Sikhs are one of the most prosperous and diversified communities in the world.

The secret behind their universal success, according to me, is their willingness to do any job with utmost dedication. A Sardar will drive a truck or set up a roadside garage or a dhaba, but he will never beg on the streets.


This is the reason why Sikhs are praised a lot by ShivBaba (through Baba Virendra Dev Dixit) in the clarification Murlis. I approve of what the old Sardarji said to the above mentioned young boys that you will not find any Sardarji beggars in whole of Delhi.

Regards,
OGS,
Arjun

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Post by bro neo » 13 Jul 2007

While we’re on the subject of vacations ...

One day a Puka BK died and was accidentally sent to hell. As we all know, all dogs and BKs go to heaven, but in this instance old BapDada was off his game and our BK joined all the rapists, murderers and Forex traders in Kali Yuga. After a few weeks in hell the (ex) BK realizes that it's not such a bad place after all, it’s just chronically mismanaged. So he implements a plan.

Within a few months the economy in hell is booming. He has the budget in surplus which enables Ravan to spend on infrastructure, and investment funds start to flow in, increasing capital expenditures throughout the entire hellish economy. Destruction is avoided all together! After a year or two BapDada looks down and notices that the standard of living in hell has increased to the point that most of his angels are booking their summer vacations there. The beaches are lovely, and face it, Sat Yuga is the last place you're gonna find someone who can mix a decent cocktail.

He phones Ravan (through his Chariot of course) to ask what's going on. Maya explains that they have employed the services of a Pukka ex-BK to fix their economy. God is not happy. "You know that all BKs go to heaven", he yelled, "send him back immediately or we're going to sue you".

The devil just laughed and replied, "As if! Where are you gonna get your hands on a lawyer?"

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alladin
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material girls and "jewish princesses"

Post by alladin » 31 Jul 2007

Where else can I fit this silly thought, if not in the jokes session?

Do you know what's the ultimate damaging program we exposed ourselves to, whilst hanging around bad company = BKs?

Becoming "material girls" and applying $ and fame as a criteria for choosing the men we date. Well, smelling omnipresent $, more than incense, learning from all that VIP service, head hunting, donations, BKs turning into highly paid consultants, big cars, first class planes, 5* htls, gold rings, luxurious centers and new properties the Yagya acquired, what would you expect?! That we go for a pauper yogi soul brother living on 3 sq ft of land eating chapatis?:wink: SS showed us the priorities, in case our mothers failed to do so! So, surrender, but to a rich one, and play the virgin!
Love to all. Supnaka.

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arjun
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Post by arjun » 01 Aug 2007

bro neo wrote:One day a Puka BK died and was accidentally sent to hell. As we all know, all dogs and BKs go to heaven, but in this instance old BapDada was off his game and our BK joined all the rapists, murderers and Forex traders in Kali Yuga. After a few weeks in hell the (ex) BK realizes that it's not such a bad place after all, it’s just chronically mismanaged. So he implements a plan.
You reminded me of a senior male BK (almost a teacher/center-incharge) who rang up to me a few weeks ago to log on to http://www.swisscash.com to find ways of earning thousands of rupees every month sitting at home. Actually, I was not at all interested in it and so I had forgotten about it. After reading your joke, I thought let me see the website. But its first page contains links to many other websites through which you can earn money. Since I do not have time or patience to read all that, I leave it to the choice of all those who wish to become rich. :P

He looks like Brahma Baba and also tells (in private talks) that BKs coming to his center feel like they are receiving drishti from Brahma Baba when he sits on the sandhali during the meditation. :wink:

Anyways, thanks to him for being my well wisher. :lol:

Regards,
OGS,
Arjun

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