What's pulling me away

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alladin
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Hotel California

Post by alladin » 17 Jul 2007

The realization that I was dysfunctional in many ways when I came into Gyan and that these psyc defects, are still all there and maybe have been hidden or even enhanced whilst giving my mind to the BK organisation. I am starting to make a list:

- Need for a spiritual real warm family to belong to, and this we were promised to find in the BK org.
- Tendency to be laid back and not really ambitious, not for the "Babylon" aspirations and lifestyle for sure. Simple life and high thinking resonates with me, so, the info that destruction is round the corner was conveniently convincing. Why should I bother to do much in my life, in terms of lokik achievements? End is coming soon, no study is higher than Gyan, no job gains us good karma and satisfaction, compared to God's service.

Everyone had his nice luggage when walked through the Hotel California doorstep (Raja Yoga center). You can get in anytime u like but u can never leave.

Some were "pleasers", sought for approval, some were feeling inadeguate or guilty, and ended up feeling worse. Apparently BKWSU should help one in gaining higher consciousness and self esteem, we are taught not to compare ourselves with others, see ourselves with Baba's vision, what we really are inside, our potential, our eleveted self, but the methods applied on us were/are those of carrot and stick, pressure to conforming to stereotypes, or else we become class B BKs and are not accepted, in fact disapproved of by SS , comparing, racing, feeling less holy if we were not up to certain standards. Common way to survive: Pretending we are angels, pathetically striving to become worthy of approval.

I always felt little unconditional motherly love, and a lot of patriarchal judgment, coming from our gurus to start with, this system is passed onto high and mid ranks, in charges, etc ... Lots of lies and broken promises, such as the one " u can have a direct link to God, by learning this medit . method, u are his child and the days of Bhakti, when we were feeling low and distant from him are over". The prevalent idea of God BKWSU pushes on us, is Dharamraj, and is rather alien to me, but I see it reflected and all pervasive in the BK system. Can this all lead anywhere else but depression, or more avoidance of real issues we carry with us? Is this sane or healthy?

Not to interfere with the reader's freedom, I will refrain from underlining some passages. So, enjoy the song. It's over 30° C, 86° F where I am now, but I am getting the creeps.

The Eagles - Hotel California
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy, and my sight grew dimmer I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway; I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself, 'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor, I thought I heard them say...
Welcome to the Hotel California Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
Plenty of room at the Hotel California Any time of year, you can find it here
Her hair is Tiffany-twisted, She got the Mercedes Benz
She's got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget
So I called up the Captain, 'Please bring me my wine'
He said, 'We haven't had that spirit here since 1969'
And still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night Just to hear them say...
Welcome to the Hotel California Such a lovely Place (such a lovely face)
They leave it all up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis
Mirrors on the ceiling, the pink champagne on ice
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers, they gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives, but they just cannot kill the beast
Last thing I remember, I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
'Relax' said the nightman, We are programmed to receive.
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave

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abrahma kumar
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Hotel California

Post by abrahma kumar » 22 Jul 2007

Thanks alladin. This takes me way back to sitting in a classroom in year 8 and reading the lyrics that someone had written on the blackboard.

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Post by paulkershaw » 23 Jul 2007

OMG - talk about synchronicity - here I am looking on the www for accomodation on Costa Rica for December and find myself on the website for Hotel California ...

Roll On Eagles ...

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Post by fluffy bunny » 23 Jul 2007

paulkershaw wrote:here I am looking on the www for accomodation on Costa Rica for December
Why not check in at ex-BK Robert Shubow's ashram, Sat Yuga Foundation. It looks like he is doing good stuff, probably knows good people out there. Link elsewhere on site.

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Post by mr green » 23 Jul 2007

ex-l wrote:Why not check in at ex-BK Robert Shubow's ashram, Sat Yuga Foundation. It looks like he is doing good stuff, probably knows good people out there. Link elsewhere on site.
Remind me never to holiday with you ex-l :lol:.

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Post by paulkershaw » 24 Jul 2007

Thanx for the thought - however I've got my own cult going and wouldn't like to have to share the money I receive from 'my students' with anyone else ... :P.

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Having one's own cult going and going and going ...

Post by abrahma kumar » 25 Jul 2007

Was having a look around the Admin section of the forum and noticed the topic [Policy] Official BKWSU Contact and associated items on the News Frontpage. I wonder what is going on in the BKWSU world? Much appreciation for the manner in which the site admin is keeping us abreast of these developments and upholding its caretaking role. Am looking forward to further developments; and lest i forget, a warm welcome to the forum Sister Jayanti even if for the time being yours is primarily a watching brief. I too was one who looked on at the goings on over here with incredulity till one day something happened and i thought I might as well join the fun.

For the record: I link to the song solely on the basis of the words: "join the fun". There is NO overt or covert message or personal opinion associated or directed toward any organisation or individual. As may have been noticed by regulars on the forum I love music and sometimes these random thoughts express themselves via my record collection. I find that music keeps the soul light and alight.

You see i am so crazy that having reread the post for spelling etc the words "light and alight" set me to remembering the Bob Marley and the Wailers album "Catch A Fire". More importantly perhaps those 2 words also serve to help me with maintaing a Soul Conscious stage while looking forwards towards the Golden Age in which we are told that the lamp of the soul will remain lit. Gyan, Gyan everywhere!

Om Shanti

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Effortless parallelism with criminal organizations

Post by alladin » 09 Aug 2007

I was talking about "integrity" with a friend. Some humans have that value and will live by it, risking their lives to preserve it. They do not bend to any mafia. They do not ask for favours, do not bow down and even if they did not mean to, they automatically become heroes in the eyes of the people. They choose to stay poor and consistent. The Yagya is very much like a mafia, I can draw parallels:

The moment you bend and wear a sari, you get favours, you gain connections, you can soon become a teacher, you will eventually be invited to special retreats and meetings of the "cupola"; the top of the pyramid, the elite, high places where decisions are taken ...

It's unavoidable that you will have to "murder" other people. They will test you to see if you have the guts to "kill someone" and not blink; cold blooded, no regrets. Give sorrow and feel you are always right. Like the mafia, they will protect you and keep you in the center regardless of your wrongdoings; one hand washes the other - all according to mafia principles.

The advantage of belonging to an organization is "protection", which is good if one wants to remain in a child-stage in which no decisions are taken without consultation and consent of superiors, and you never really have to take your life into your hands.

You cannot leave them or betray them or you are dead. You can climb if you obey and do the right things, do not ask "why and how". Ruthlessness and obedience to SS are required. Omerta, vengeance and brotherhood are key characteristics of secret societies. You cannot leave or move away, especially when you know too many secrets; nor migrate to a rival gang.

They perform "masked robberies" and ask for baksheesh or "protection money". Getting away is not priceless. If you go against any higher rank or denounce them, if you do not stay in your place and want to compete, you are a trouble-maker since all roles are assigned. Stay humble, do not be over ambitious; please the Godfather. Annihilate yourself, do not think too much! Kiss hands.

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Effortless parallelism with criminal organizations

Post by abrahma kumar » 11 Aug 2007

Thanks for stopping by alladin. I found this section particularly telling:
The advantage of belonging to an organization is "protection", which is good if one wants to remain in a child-stage in which no decisions are taken without consultation and consent of superiors, and you never really have to take your life into your hands.
Seen elsewhere on the forum ...
My bro ex-l, in 1996 He (Mr. Patel) realised about His Supreme part.
Which makes wanna say, "dear G-O-D, can you help me with my realisation? Am i really a soul? G-O-D, is it your part to remain detached while all manner of human being lay claim to some role or the other connected with G-O-D? Truthfully, the older i get i realise how innocent i was all those decades back. Making my way off to Sunday school. Praying gentle Jesus meek and mild at night's before I slept. G-O-D, what did you think of MY realisations back then? G-O-D, how am i playing my part? Accurately?"

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Vishnu Party bangs discordant notes against Abeekay's tomtom

Post by abrahma kumar » 14 Aug 2007

So Abe, whatsup?! Actually the title of this post says it all.

A bit of nonsense comes to mind through which I hear an inner voice chiding me with what sounds like a proverb: Eggs cant expect to go to a rock dance and NOT get broken.

I find the members of the Vishnu Party, whom i shall forever more refer to as the Sakar Supreme Father Party, to be the most testing. What to make of them?

A forum buddy of mine, God bless her, has been trying to make me see sense. Abe, she says, there are much more interesting things going on the forum so why do you get caught up with the Vishnu Party topics? The answer is a work in progress, but to an onlooker it must seem as if i derive some perverse satisfaction in taking their beatings. I feel so bashed-up that i hardly have any enthusiasm to tap the keys on the keyboard to compose this post.

God, what is it all about? This year India, together with Pakistan, is celebrating 60 years of independence. But for all the pomp and ceremony and sentimental gushings about the great marvel of Bharat, I am afraid that it leaves me quite cold. if the Vishnu Party is part of the post-independence legacy that India has visited upon the world, then i for one seriously question its spiritual value.

It's true that one bad apple does not spoil the whole bunch, but when those "apples" are in fact souls then i think that G-O-D ought to seriously consider making a definitive appearance down here on earth SOON. As time goes it seems some of us humans are taking our God delusions to new highs which makes me wonder why we humans uphold so called "religious freedoms" with such rigour. And why do they have some sort of protection from open-minded questioning? This is a plot that stinks of hell to my mind; but all the time they tell us how enlightened they are with their free offerings of ancient wisdom for modern times; or some such oblox. Truth is it makes me wanna upchuck whenever i hear an opinionated human talking about God.

Personally, I may never ever know for certain whether there is a G-O-D but I DO know for certain that there are plenty folk eager to claim OWNERSHIP and knowledge of that mythical figure. Some go as far as to claim that they are G-O-D. What's the purpose?

Surely, I am crazy, certifiably insane when i say that: THERE IS NO GOD, except for the G-O-D that mankind endlessly conjures in his mind. I go now and play some afro-beats on my tomtom. Maybe G-O-D will hear and give me some sign.

As for the Sakar Supreme Father Party ... seems like G-O-D could not even advise them on a name that makes sense, so instead they try to obscure things (G-O-D???) by calling themselves the Vishnu Party! Huh! What a load of *******, as my JA acquaintances might say.

These are a few of the things that are pulling me away.

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Shiva Himself heard abbeyKay's tomtom ;) BKs r dim, OK!

Post by abrahma kumar » 18 Aug 2007

BKdimok wrote:Dear soul, Om Shanti. I did not say in the Murlis that the sequence of events I've mentioned above is wrong. I told you through Murlis about one meaning of Trimurti. I establish Heaven through Brahma, then destroy old world through Shankar and then sustain new world through Vishnu (combined form of Lakshmi & Narayan). Vishnu is the symbol. But also Trimurti relates to BKWSU.

I create BK through Brahma Baba (Brahma), sustain them through Dadi Gulzar's body by Brahma Baba's thin body (Vishnu) and now I will destroy all this dirty stuff you are discussing here through this young body of BK Dmitry (Shankar). Vaikunth is not Heaven, it is the place where you are in your soul form. There is only shanti there. Heaven is caled Vaikunth on Earth. There is no Heaven yet.
ex-l wrote:My God ... it is God Shiva himself posting on the forum. We don't need to bother asking Sister Jayanti any more. OK. While you are here, would you mind clarifying a few problems we have discovered in the history of the Yagya?

How old was Lekhraj Kirpalani when you entered him and why was there no mention of Shiva in the publications until at least after 1949? Are you also working through Veerendra Dev Dixit?
Yes ex-l, God speaks indeed! He heard abeekay's tomtom! Hi BKdimok aka Shiva Himself. Tell us, the BKs r dim OK? They're a bit crazy like you aint it?

So Shiva, will we meet like this each and every Kalpa, here in cyberspace? Who knkows. God, i have been reading your posts and thinking what a crackpot. I recognised you God, from your posts. They suck. do not know what the hell your talking about. But i guess that without a Chariot to imagine that they are chanelling you, Your consciousness quotient becomes zero. Poor thing.

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d3ao2mb2p2er! Om Shanti

Post by abrahma kumar » 20 Aug 2007

will all hell breakout?
we see
abek
love you always
a3r2o2n2hd2
Jah Jah guide &
protect I & I
the ps & the qs
are all Yours
It's You that we call
Sweet Baba
So Jah Jah guide &
protect I & I
the ps & the qs
are all Yours
Sweet Jah Jah
you ha fi guide
& protect I & I
& all a dem dat call
You Sweet Baba
Yes Jah Jah
guide & protect I & I

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Emerging tone-deaf to Bhog songs because i danced to Rebel Music

Post by abrahma kumar » 29 Aug 2007

So abbeykay, what's it all about this oblox you spout regarding emerging from a bhatti (intensive Raja Yoga meditation experience) to discover that the soul has been stricken with tone-deafness to Bhog songs because of having danced with gay abandon to Rebel Music? To be frank I am not yet altogether sure about THE answer to that, and so in this post i am just going to explore a few random thoughts and issues that i face as an evolving ex-BK. Random words: Complicity, Destruction, Confessionals, Rebirth, Salvation, Guilt.

There was once a time that i posted on this site some non-sense considering the possibility that BKWSU-exposed souls might devise a survival strategy, based on complicity, as an attempt to shape for themselves a life free from the more destructive aspects of the BK lifestyle. Since that post, i have been thinking, that such ideas ought to be put on ice unless the souls are really, really, REALLY reading from the same script.

But now i come back to this idea of complicity strategies because i have had a chilling personal awakening to the fact that my own BKWSU journey has been littered with elements of complicity, not with human souls, but rather instead with the BKWSU organisation itself! Talk about a pact with the devil; do not even ask!

My experiences lead me to believe that under certain conditions we human's can be used as mere cannon fodder for the voracious appetites of corporate spiritual enterprises. Unforunately, it seems that some of us human's place our own selves into the lion's den in the hope of salvation, but instead, the net result is that we end up being suckered deeper into the web of their lies and a greater distance from the point of being liberated from our so-called weaknesses.

Is this possible or am i poor deluded soul; dressing-up my own failure to take personal responsibility with rags of shame and blame that i hang upon the BKWSU? Are they innocent victims of my own delusion?

Whatever the answer, do give us YOUR confessions, abe. Sign them in blood if you so choose. Your secret is safe with US. Makes me wonder, who keeps the secrets of the Keepers of Secrets? And do not tell me that they have NONE!

Sometimes on the spiritual journey it feels as though we each have a slot that is perfectly sculpted for us to be ensnared. But could it be that the so-called 'wrong-deed', for which absolution is being sought, is really a signal that the fit is far from perfect. Why is it that, instead of looking for a garment of a different size we make hard efforts to force ourselves into the skin-smothering fit? Not to mention the prolonged agonies that the soul experiences.

Is the "real" weakness one of a rather slow awakening to the understanding that there is NO NEED to prostrate ourselves at the altar of continued self-sacrifice? Where is the nobility in such kow-towing? But they claim that such efforts are all in aid of staving-off a fate worse than death for the self and for others! And of course, we are merciful souls, aren't we? So the self-sacrifice goes on. Who reaps the gains?

Truthfully, I do not really know now and that's why I say to Death, so be it . Life is what I am after. George Michael did remind us that Guilty feet have got no rhythmn and so I will continue to dance to Rebel Music and lay the guilt aside because she do not dance the way that i love to.

P.S. Beware of the ties that bind for they too may be the golden chains of bondage.

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Re: Emerging tone-deaf to Bhog songs because I danced to Reb

Post by paulkershaw » 30 Aug 2007

abrahma Kumar wrote: because of having danced with gay abandon to Rebel Music?
Thank for sharing AbbyKay but careful with word 'gay' OK? I thought I was the only one who openly used that bible-punching title on this forum ... hehehehehe xxxxx.

Be well and thanx again for sharing these deep thoughts and realisations, healing is a deep individual process which comes out in so many ways within all of us! Keep groovin and thank for the lyrics, you always emerge such deep memories of party days within me.
xx
p.s ---> The radio just played Rick Astleys' "Never going to give you up" - an old classic - but through it I've just learned that I can type and dance at the same time ... mmmwwaaahhhh!

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Livening up and out of tone deafness

Post by abrahma kumar » 30 Aug 2007

Sure it's OK paul, and thanks for the feedback. I used the word gay entirely in the context of merriment and liveliness of mood and I hope that anyone reading the post will be able to discern those feelings.

Paul, given your feedback and the sentiments with which I used the word in the post, the song "I feel Pretty" from West Side Story comes to mind because of its cheerfulness and capacity to lift the spirits (I happened to see the film Anger Management for the first time a few days ago). I know the Rick Astley song you mention and thanks for sharing the recollection.

regards, abek

P.S Talking of merriment and liveliness you get nothing for guessing that the Bob Marley and the Wailers track Lively Up Yourself immediately springs to abek's mind as epitomizing just one of the types of the Rebel Music that he loves to listen and dance to ... so here's what we're gonna do, we gonna rock so, rock so, like we never did before ... Lively up yourself, 'cause this is the other bag. Can you dig it? (I really do need my head examined)
take care always

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