I get in or pull him out

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jannisder
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Post by jannisder » 04 Apr 2007

I will be absolute careful with the people in charge, they do not need a Maya, they would not even know how to deal with it.

I'll be the angel of sercurity. i watch, see and respond in a non-offended way. Know when to keep my mouth to shut. And know by when to speak. Believe me, thanks to you all, be fully aware. You will never loose me ... I am strong and i will keep you up to date no matter what. I really need an up to date Murli ... help me out.

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Post by di » 04 Apr 2007

Joel I hope you are right am I am wrong. I really hope that.
I have noting to loose anyway
You have everything to loose.
Me, myself and I...are not important.
You are the most important thing there is. Without you there is nothing else. You cannot do anything for anybody.
He trust me and I have to do just anything to wake him up
You cannot wake him up. There is enough said on this forum to prove that. Only he is able to do that. He may well be very happy just where he is.
My mind is not to be brainwashed at any time at all
I am sure you know your own mind to the extent that any of us knows our own minds. The proof on this forum seems to support the idea that this mind control is done so well and subtely, without your knowing. I wonder how far they actually have penetrated your pysche that you would even consider this? You have been going to meditation, yes?

I hope you don't hate me for what I am saying. It is your choice. I think from what i see the dear sweet SS has already infiltrated your thinking. I do have faith in you. I do not trust the BK system at all. I care what you think of me, I care about you, so I say what I say, risking the friendship we have.This is hard to write. I really hope you and Joel prove me wrong.

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Post by joel » 04 Apr 2007

di wrote:I have noting to loose anyway ... Me, myself and I...are not important.
To say you are not important is a little worrying. You might ask after your own pattern, if you've been with partners who haven't valued you before, or if you family situation somehow associates with that. That is the kind of work one may do with a therapist.

There is something your are losing if you have other, nourishing activities in your life. And if you don't have other nourishing things, there might be another problem. If you face that issue, are actively nourished by your own activities, then the signs are better for your relationship and with the BKs, too.

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Post by jannisder » 04 Apr 2007

I will never ever hate any of you for what you are saying. EVER!!! Keep that in mnd.

Because of all your support, i feel strong to do this

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Post by fluffy bunny » 04 Apr 2007

Hey Guys, can we just stick to original terminology here?

Your local "center-in-charge" is not a "Senior Sister".

A Senior Sister is a BK sisters that has been the movement for at least 40/50 years, generally even since the beginning. (Although they are becoming rare). I'd say, a "zone-in-charge" is going to be the youngest "Senior Sister", e.g. your Sister Jayanti and Mohinis etc.

Jannisder, when you mentioned "his children not knowing him" ... if he cut off from them do you not think he has the capacity to be cut off from you? You are romanticising that irresponsibility as something attractive in his personality? Sure, BKs encourage it.

You don't know what you are up against. Its not a one-one relationship.

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Post by abrahma kumar » 04 Apr 2007

Thanks for the reminder Ex-I. Thanks for sharing everyone. A couple of observations crossed my mind based on the title of this thread: I get in or pull him out. Way back in the early days I could see that the BKs interacting on the topic were attempting to scare J off via stating various BKWSU stream of consciousness - my humble observation.

Maybe the experienced BKs, or ex-BKs, will offer some feedback on this but my experience says that Jannisder ought NOT to mislead herself into thinking that a committed BKWSU student will see her as anything other than a 'she-devil'. If you doubt that. go and see the most recent Mama's class that was posted. It is not an easy part that the drama seems to have revealed as yours for this short period Jannisder. But however you define it, victory is your birthright.

This stage of your life will not last forever, if you don't want it to. A day will soon come when you may realise that these days are indeed the making of a strong, resillient, noble, loving Jannisder. So that in spite of the pain you will be able to look back and thank life for the lessons ... As for the strategy of you joining so as to pull him out - it is fraught with danger. Why?

Given you will join with your own agenda right? Or maybe you are a Brahmin after all and all this is your own struggle against that eventuality. If you will NOT join then they will do their utmost to save the brother from a fate worse than death (YOU) - in their minds.

If you join, everytime you go to Murli you will hear how devilish the rest of the world is and how saintly these Baba's children are and you will come to ask yourself, "which side am i on?"

You will hear about the vice of lust. You will hear that those who engage in lustful acts after having found God fall from the 6th floor as a resuilt of which their bones are crushed. You will hear about thse souls who are destined to be funeral pyre attendants in the Golden Age because of their various infractions agains God's words and dictates in the Confluence Age; at the time they were recieving the most elevated teachings. You will hear about those who go to class listen to the Murli and as soon as they go home/out revert to devilish ways.

If you and your man are living together they will want to talk to you about offering to Baba the vegetarian meals that you prepare. You will need special utensils for that offering. You will need a special Baba's sponge for washing the offering utensils only. You will eat the bhorg that they offer to Baba on Thursday's. Blah blal blah.

And what happens when your man wants to hold you close or you him - will you start to feel guilt because it is against the rules? Or will you say that it is no business of the BKs. As a result of which you may start to feel unworthy (in the light of BK oblox of course). In otherwords jannisder your OWN consciousness will begin to be seeped in these BKWSU orthodoxies. Will you be able to manage the 'splitting' of your personality in this way?

I do not aim to scare anyone or defame the BKWSU - everything I said is true and i offer it up without recourse to emotion - just stating facts. A lot of souls must be facing these and other dilemna. Heaven help us all. I will never tell anyone what to do - I am not that arrogant or naive. And I will never ever stop appreciating how wonderfully unique and worthy ALL souls are.

We are ALL Shiv Baba's children; but we are not all BK's. And to a brother, "much soul-sconscious love always". These are the ways of karma.

Take care.

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Post by mr green » 04 Apr 2007

No Jan, DO NOT GO THIS ROUTE PLEASE !!! They will get you and you will lose him, IT IS WHAT THEY WANT !!!

Please go ahead with your letter writing campaign, anything ... YOU Don't know what your dealing with, believe me ... they'll eat you alive. They will stop at nothing !!! NOTHING !!!

The centre in charge appears sweet BECAUSE SHE IS TRAINED TO !!! She is not sweet. She is attempting to bring about the Destruction of the old impure world, and you and your motives are part of that in their eyes. All I can say is, man you're stuck on him !!! I know how clever women are but BE CAREFUL.

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Post by di » 04 Apr 2007

Jan, they are nothing but a bunch of liars and I mean your man as well.

They lie by not telling you the truth. They tell you what they think you need to cover up what they are really doing. I am living it. Its not until you force them into the corner and tackle them head on, and then you won't get any straight answers, but their face and actions give it away. You are being misled and deceived. Nothing will turn them from this path. They are incapable of helping themselves and what's more, they do not want anything else.

If you want to be a BK, go in. If you want your man, ditch him and stay right away from the center. Its a sure fire way to find out exactly what you mean to them. Its the only hope of him giving up the BK way of life and to have a relationship. All the niceties, the seemingly tender words, it's all B**S**. Said to rope you in and make them successful in getting what they want. You cannot win this one. He will do what he wants and what he is told. You have no hold on him whatsoever. You will always come second, I mean last in his life. They will keep stringing you along and telling you enough of what you want to hear.

Mine led me to believe he was thinking carefully of his choice. He missed going to meditation twice and helped around the house to make me trust him. He did not have the b***s to stand up and tell me he was set on this path, he was leaving his family for all of Easter to go on retreat. He had no intentions of even thinking about what the BK was doing to his wife and family. Its just another cover up to get you to shut up and conform and make it easy for them.

We are now separated under the same roof. There is no relationship left. I had to force him to admit his choice, and he still did not fully. I am only telling you this so you know what to expect. And we had a committed relationship. You don't. I send you all my love, my heartfelt wishes and support for whatever you decide. This will be my last post for a while, I have some very practical issues to work out and need some time to come to terms with this.

We had so much love between us. What a fool I am. I will be watching what happens though. I wasn't going to say anything about my situation yet, but felt I had to tell you what will happen, its a given. Take care sweetie, take my love with you and never forget you have true friends here.

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Post by bansy » 04 Apr 2007

Jan,
I support your move. You know what is right for you now. You are taking in everything that is said in this forum into consideration, so you will be going in not empty-handed. You are wiser from the outset than many others who would take a bold step into the BK sphere.

Try to always maintain your self respect, and not be afraid and stand your ground and listen to your heart. That way you will also listen to others in the right way. You will be challenged on all areas, about yourself and about relationships. Listen first to your heart and you won't go wrong. That way, you will always make the right choice for yourself. One thing is not to regret your action, this only makes creates more fear and panic and does nothing to help. So take care. One other thing, try to smile and think positive that the outcome, whatever that will be, will always be the right one and don't compare yourself to another. It's your journey.
Bansy

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Post by abrahma kumar » 07 Apr 2007

Ah Bansy, my own backbone fills with the strength of pure molten gold when i read such posts as this you so often share with us. Much appreciated. And, yes, jannsider ought to do as she feels is right by her. It is the only way she will be able to hold her head high. And though I highlight certain things based on my experience I never seek to expressly deter - it is just so that I too can keep my eyes open.

So jannisder, keep on keeping on. The forum remains a place to come to. As usual all the best.

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Post by jannisder » 19 Apr 2007

My dear friends,

Looking back at all your latest posts, is really heartwarming to me, i feel that you all care about what is going on at my address. As i mentioned before, it is like riding a roller coaster. One thing is for sure, I WILL NOT LET GO!! And that is, that i also will and shall never let go of ME!!

I am not the kind of person that is to be brainwashed, no one ever succeeded in that before. :lol: My talent is to go with the flow and to fulfill my goals. It's a hard one this time but i survived before and shall again. I am at WAR ...! An organization screwing up loveable people, is just not done in my book. Hey, i know i can not be the one to save the world but i am a fighter in this one. Not as in a selfish perspective but more for us all! Hum ... interesting ... i always did that, fight for others.

Anyway my "work" goes on, step by step. Got him to do some "bad" lokik things, as in lokik family life get together and some other stuff ... :shock: and enjoyed his joy. It made me so happy (BLISS)!! Yes, ... and me? ... i still think about myself ... for those who worry. Pulling him out, inch by inch, he shall finally understand that life with "us" is more spiritual than being dead alive all alone. With all respect.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with (ex)Bk's in general, as far as i can see their perspective on life is mine also. I finally had the nerve to tell a close friend of both of us what is going on. She was surprised and fully understood ... she only see us together most of the time. She said that she was proud of me doing what i do, have my own agenda on things and she is going to help.

We are in a situation that brings us together a lot, we see each other a lot, as in a lokik family get together. What a relieve that is to have someone close to both of us, who knows what is going on. As in letting go ... ? Many let him go, that's why he joined BKWSU in the first place. He was left, hurt, and all confused. So how can i ever be the next one to let him go??? ... NEVER!! Although i might never get him out. My commitment is made i shall never be the one to disappoint him this time. This time its for real. I know it and he knows it. His time is going to be hard, also my time shall be hard. The roller coaster ride is long and scary but at the end you feel exited and even want to ride it again!!

Everything means nothing "If I Ain't Got You".

Stay with me, love Jan.

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Post by proy » 20 Apr 2007

jannisder wrote:I finally had the nerve to tell a close friend of both of us what is going on. What a relief that is to have someone close to both of us, who knows what is going on.
I think this will make all the difference to you. It was not until I started to meet and discuss with people face to face that I realised I had to leave the BKs. We will help you as much as we can here on this forum, but there is nothing so powerful as a real live person in front of you giving you feedback on your situation. Has your close freind read this forum? It will be good if he/she could be more informed. I am so glad you found someone to confide in.

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Post by abrahma kumar » 21 Apr 2007

jannisder wrote:My dear friends, The roller coaster ride is long and scary but at the end you feel excited and even want to ride it again!! Everything means nothing "If I Ain't Got You". Stay with me, love Jan.
Hi Jan, Good to see you in the forum again. Read your inspired post and the energy of the little snippet I quoted put me to wondering whether you know this song, Telling you (click link).

I have amongst my record collection a version performed by Jennifer Holllday. Hope that sysops will forgive me for posting the lyric here but if you check the words you may find echoes of the determination and joy that fills your being in response to the challenges encountered on this journey that you share with us. So provided here as a free service to the community:
Jennifer Holiday wrote:And I am telling you I am not going
You're the best man I'll ever know
There's no way I can ever go
No no there’s no way
No no no no way
I am living without you
I am not living without you - I don't wanna be free ...

For more lyrics, see Jennifer Holliday Lyrics
P.S. and to sign of with words that i hope you may find just as inspiring as a response. Men and people will fight you down when you see Jah light but let me tell you now if you are not wrong then everything's alright.

Take care, aBeK

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Post by fluffy bunny » 21 Apr 2007

abrahma Kumar wrote:For more lyrics, see Jennifer Holliday Lyrics
Good God ... there is another clip of her belting it out over on Youtube. I think if I was faced with that much passion, I'd be off to the Himalayas and ready to hide out in a cave for 7 years until she came off heat.

abe, this is off topic and the subject of another topic we have somewhere on the forum, are you black bodied, and if so, how black? We started to discuss black experiences within the BKWSU a while back. I am not but I defy anyone NOT to get the shivers when listening to wholehearted, classic Motown music or soul. What is that and how do we understand it.

I have often passed by triving Black Church. where the indigenous white congregation just died off, emptied or went to Home Depot instead, sing and praising loudly having a great time and forgetting all the oppression. I know very well the story of the Black churches and the racism from the Anglo-Saxon Christian communities in the US and UK.

I'd love to see the SS plonked down to face one of those congregations instead of the cerebral UN of whatever and see how long they would last before they started clamping and a stamping. But, "is it not just all body-consciousness ...", as the BKs would say? We should set up a league table and let them fight it out for the "most spiritual".

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Deprograming

Post by jannisder » 23 Apr 2007

Deprogramming is now on my agenda.

The days go as they go and are mostly good. You all know my goal, so that's that. How to deprogram a cult member is what i study and can use some advise.
  • Questions to make the member think again (what made you think again?)
    Social rewards?
    How to show BK lies.
    Show a lokik life that is not so bad ... etc.
Help me to make a scenario.

Love Jan.

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