Hi, I am new & would greatly appreciate some guidance

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di
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Hi, I am new & would greatly appreciate some guidance

Post by di » 21 Feb 2007

Hello everyone,

have been reading the posts and have gained some understanding. My partner and i had a wonderful loving relationship. He was a BK before and had left the BKs before we met. After setting up home, talking marriage etc he began to go through a difficult time due to alcoholism ... he has been sober for 7 years but at times it is still difficult. He started meditation again which helped, but since then and, especially recently, he is withdrawing to the extreme, becoming increasingly unhappy and increasing the time he spends at the centre.

We are now at the stage where he has no desire for me and states being with me prevents him from being pure ... but still wishes to kiss and cuddle me ... (cant quite work that one out). We are both in extreme pain and i have no idea how to handle this situation. How do we survive this? I will not desert him, but nor will i live in a pretend relationship surface deep while he unknowingly becomes more emotionally detached, i am worth more than that. i have no problem with him being a BK unless it hurts us, and now we are joining the ranks of all the other broken families bk has left.

Do i hang in there and hang back for a while hoping he will see what he did last time he was in BKs and be there to help pick up the pieces when it happens? Or do i what? What can i say or do? I would be so grateful for any guidence or words to help me accept what i have lost and cannot change.

Thank you,

di

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Post by abrahma kumar » 21 Feb 2007

Welcome to the forum Di. One can only be touched to the very core of being on learning of souls in circumstances such as you relate to us here. It is great to hear that you took the chance to orient yourself with the site and in so doing found the posts informative.

Di, I cannot say whether there is anyone on the forum suitably professionally qualified to offer expert feedback on your post - we'll see - however many of us souls on the site have experience with the BKWSU and will be able interact with your post on the basis of our experiences/knowledge of the organisation. Besides that insiders (current/ex/on-the-way-out) view, many of the posters here recognise that we are all part of humankind and so much of the feedback will also be tempered with that 'all-embracing' consciousness. Because of this I am certain that you will find your time here rewarding, if only as a stepping stone to you and your partner benefitting from more personalised and/or direct feedback.

Di, you have taken a great step of courage in exploring the BKWSU world outside of the 'confines' you have previously experienced. And for one step of courage we BKWSU students are told the God, Himself gives 1000 steps of support in return.

I will leave my first post in your thread at this kind of 'cyber-handshake'. I am sure that your thread will get lots of feedback. I too will return and will offer more specific feedback as the thread develops. So for the time being Om Shanti and take care.

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Re: Hi, I am new and would greatly appreciate some guidance p

Post by fluffy bunny » 21 Feb 2007

di wrote:What can I say or do?
Hi Di,

OK ... in at the deep end then?

I, too, empathize at the difficult situation you find yourself in. A situation that sounds doubly difficult because of your partners involvement with the BKWSU. It sounds like you have gone through a difficult time enough and paid a heavy price to get your relationship this far. I guess you are following the similar post in the Newcomers section. Whilst I am sure we only hear about 1 in a 100 of similar cases, yes, we notice similarities in the trend.

Abrahma Kumar fairly suggests that none of us here are "professionally qualified" counsellors, it is true. At least we are experts in what BKWSU/BK Raja Yoga is, does and recommends to its followers. Whereas any counsellor would probably just include BK Raja Yoga as "another religion" or, at worst, a cultic religion, their knowledge and experience of what BK Raja Yoga is and does will be very limited as the organization operates a very good cover for what it is really all about. to the point of quite obvious dishonesty, to those that have been in on the inside.

At least we will be able to tell you or confirm for you if what you are being told, and how you are being treated, is "pure" BK-ism or not without BK's dogma, pretense or judgemental position.

What this means is that we can tell you what the BKs will be saying, think, doing, believing ... without actually doing so, or promoting such beliefs ourselves. Some of this might be difficult or painful for you to hear.

One of the first issues that pops out to my eye on both you and Jannisder's situation is that the individual male involved has crossed beyond the bounds of what would be considered BK behavior, or "principles". These are called Maryadas and are spelled out here. Kissing, cuddling and "attachment", by which ordinary human beings would call normal love and affection, are all forbidden. There is no doubt to my mind that despite them calling themselves "The Family Path", a relationship between two individuals where one is a BK and one is not, is basically impossible. Not only is it near impossible, they will be subtly encouraged to break away and given hints on how to break away by the BKs at their local center.

I raise this issue because it underlines that in both your positions, you are dealing not just with BK but also an individual's personal problems/issues as well. And what is coming up for both of you is that the BKs is a bit like another women in the relationship. Indeed, it might be 'other women" as, I dare say, the sisters in the center will be idolized images, and sources, of selfless love which you will be having to compete with.

It sounds like in both your and Jannisder situation the man is both 'having his cake' and wanting to and eating it, which will be disasterous for all concerned. To put it very bluntly, you will deal with the ******* and invest your love in him, they - the other women - will cream off the benefit ... an equation that either works out to be a weak man being propped up by two or more strong women, or a weak man taking from one woman in his life to give to the other woman/women in his life. (Personally, I think the God element of the BKWSU is much smaller than it is made out to be and simple human dynamics are much more at play than they will admit too).

I know nothing about you or your relationship but firstly, I was advise you to read Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood and think of the BKs not just as a cult but as "the other women" in his life. If you have not already read it, it will likely be very difficult medicine to take.

Secondly, I think you need to protect yourself and start to build an alternative support mechanism. If you have no interest or attration in the BKWSU and no desire to become a BK, I would advise you NOT to invest in this individual any longer. So would the BKs for for exactly the opposite reason! They want his soul in the belief that they and their god is his savour. He probably believes this. Wait, if you must, to see where he is headed but at some point lay down an ultimatum at some point; you or the BKs.

I cannot tell you if what the BKs have to offer is the real God thing or not. I can tell you authoratively that what they are offering is not just the real god thing but that they putting 'other things' into the mix. The BK practise and "the mix" are highly addicitive, that the organization is manipulative, deceitful and very skilled, and what we are questioning or discovering are elements of hypnotism, deep mental programming over and on top of the psychic and mediumistic practises.

The BKs would argue this addictiveness is because it is the real God thing and they are doing His work. On what I have seen, and continue to see the leaders of the organization do, I personally doubt that and encourage individuals to find their own relationship with a god thing if they need it. Once a person has been initiated into the BK Raja Yoga practise, and the BK god has been implanted at The God, it is very, very difficult to do so. And almost impossible for any human to fight. There are others BKs, the PBKs, that argue that God, or the channelled entity, has moved on from the BKWSU. His failure to follow the principles, his sin in the past ... aka YOU ... will make him more vulnerable to them now.

In terms of relationships with channelled entities, and many ex-BKs consider that the spirit that the BKs are involved with worshipping is just the spirit of their deceased human leader Lekhraj Kripalani, I would recommend reading The Siren Call of Hungry Ghosts: A Riveting Investigation Into Channeling and Spirit Guides by Joe Fisher. Whether the spirit involved in the BKWSU is human or Godly the issues of unaccountability and unreliability are very similar. In the case of the BKWSU, the BKWSU has built a many tens of thousand of people strong barrier between the spirit or spirit and the rest of the world which makes it almost to bring either the spirit or themselves to accountability.

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Post by worldpeace » 21 Feb 2007

Di,

I am not the better person to answer you. Still, my 2 cents - Get your partner on board this forum, so that he gets a multidimensional view of BK - the institution and philosophy.

(But he would eventually read this post right?)

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Hi, Di.

Post by proy » 21 Feb 2007

ex-l wrote: Wait, if you must, to see where he is headed but at some point lay down an ultimatum at some point; you or the BKs.
I agree with this. Your man is obviously one with an addictive personality, and the BK religion/cult is in itself highly addictive. I know this from my own experience in the BKs. Read some of the posts on other parts of this forum, and, as worldpeace says, get your man to read them if he will. Has he tried the 12 step group for his alcoholism? I have seen more than one alcoholic turn to the BKs. Personally I would prefer the bottle, it is less damaging and complicated than the BKs. A 12 step group would get him back from his addictions without implanting another, even more harmful one, as it is fairly innocuous.

Sometimes the difficult truth has to be faced that we have to turn our back on addicts. They are never ready to get help until they hit their rock bottom, and everybody's rock bottom is an individual thing. If you do give him an ultimatum then you will have to be sure you go through with it. If he sees reason then he will realise that the love of a real person is of much greater value than whatever the BKs are able to offer him. I would also re-iterate that he is already breaking the BK rules by even touching you, so he will be put into states of fear and guilt as the sisters at the centre work on him mercilessly. I will not deceive you.

You are probably in for a very rough ride. I wish you all the best, and hope you will keep on returning here for help and advice. The more you feel able to tell us about what is actually happening the easier it will be for us to help you. Remember that it is possible to send Private Messages and emails to members of this forum. It does not all have to be public, but it is better for all if you have the courage to discuss this in public. There will be many more people with similar situations to yours who have not had the courage or the opportunity to come on to this forum.

Best Wishes.

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Thanking you

Post by di » 22 Feb 2007

I thank you all for your warm welcome and very wise words. If fact you have voiced many of my ideas such as the "affair idea", having one's cake and eating it, and dear ex-l, your words were not painful, they are enlightening and i uphold truth more than anything. The words you have spoken helps strengthen my resolve and as a realist I like to keep my feet firmly planted. At this point in time things look more optimistic, but i know there is a very difficult road ahead. Many days of talking, and listening ... no matter what was said, no matter what the consequences of what he was doing was going to be made no difference, all i received was, "I must purify myself no matter what the cost".

My main argument was basically 2 areas ... how does one think they can obtain purity by causing pain, destruction and metaphorical death along the way? There is no justification in this, only excuses and weak ones at that ... The whole philosophy of having a single idea in mind and destroying everything in its path in order to obtain that goal (and then the path taken actually makes it impossible to then obtain the goal) and then being arrogant enough to attempt to justify the way is anything but pure and god like, and by this means they expect to develop their spirituality? I hardly think so.

The other aspect of all this is the personal side and I guess it depends on your view of sexual relations. In fact, this all came to a head and it had nothing to do with sex. My mother has just been diagnosed with advanced cancer, at this stage not fully known how advanced. As a registered nurse I am fully aware of what is ahead and this is more than likely terminal. At the time in my life I needed to be able to rely on him. All I received was some detached non-involved (still very nice and polite) token. I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me, nothing to feel sorry for me about ... this is life ... it happens ... it is painful but if handled the right way we grow and develop and become more spiritual.

Anyway, one thing lead to another and this is how i found out. This point is ... if you make a committed relationship, you make vows to another being, you uphold them (until it comes to a point where you find a situation beyond acceptable). You do not emotionally detach yourself and basically use the other person's love and enjoy all the material benefits, the house cleaner and the income earner and give nothing in return keeping it instead for a group of people who have extremist religious views and quite frankly don't care less about you as an individual or your family.

The long and short of it is, I was not going to live a lie nor be used. I am not 20 years old any more and able to be manipulated. If he wanted his BK life at the cost of his family, then I would make that choice for him. The sheer arrogance of his and this particular group to make major decisions affecting my life and my family and then to attempt to justify it without even consulting me is beyond belief. I had no say in this, but I can decide what i will accept or not accept. It was not until I told him that he was untrustworthy and could not be relied upon that i touched a nerve. "What sweeping harsh statements I made!" he said.

I then explained and expanded and logically spelt it all out and how i felt this was so morally wrong that I would not support it. I would move into the back room, there would be no kissing or cuddling, we were separated but would co-exist under the same roof for a short time. I will not allow myself to be used, to have my trust abused, and to have my whole being, which i gave in the act of love making tainted and thrown back in my face. If i was unclean, then all the conveniences and pleasantness i provided was also unclean. Well, let's just say it made some impact, and obviously he was not that far gone that the thought of leaving me (and the house and his comforts) was astounding.

The really interesting thing is, its is almost like he was shocked out of a trance, i almost immediately felt our old connection which has strengthened again over the last day. Gone (at the moment, who can tell for how long) is the shell of a person who made a pretence of this life.

To answer your question the 12 steps, yes, that is how he became sober 7 years ago. Instead of going back to AA, as he should, he took the easy option and decided to get high on self and group hypnosis. At this stage, like all addicts, he refuses to see he is only feeding his addiction ... his choice, doesn't mean i will accept it. He knows me well enough, I am a person of my word, I do not make idle threats, and I act very quickly once my decision is made, (once I have respected the other person by discussing it, of course) and i do not go back.

The other question of me joining ... well, let us just say i have been invited many times ... i have spent my life learning to have self respect and not to be manipulated by others, to have the strength to do the right things. I have my own beliefs and am very spiritual, but a very practical person and do my best to apply them to this life. If i don't, what will the next one be like??? My support group? At the moment I am my family's so I am the strong one here. Aging parents who are ill (both), three teenage boys, who i might add are always respectful, do not drink to excess, do not smoke and do not do drugs. They work, study and are well adjusted. Luckily, I am strong, independent and resourceful. Run my own business, but can survive by doing a few extra nursing shifts. I don't think i quite fit the mould of a BK and would probably want to start a union movement in the group!!! :lol:


Dear Worldpeace, unfortunately if someone chooses to be blind ... he refuses to look, to use his brain, says he has already seen 'other' points of view ... as he is refusing to go to AA. But i'll keep working on that.

So is this really about sex? Morality? Spiritual paths? No, this is about removing the individual from their family, it is a tool to cut outside influences. This has nothing to do with sex. I believe in ethics and morality. This chastity they ask for is not chastity, it is a means to gain more control, and i cannot see anything godlike in the methodology.

To all of you, your care and advice (and i will read the literature you suggest) has been my greatest support. Thank you This will be a rough road, and I fear for his spiritual and mental health. I will always be OK and come out the other side. It is so sad, for an intelligent man to be so stupid. It is painful to see him so torn and in so much distress, - his choice I guess - but at this very second he is with me again and i will do what i can ... in what time i have. The thing is, he is a genuine, caring, sincere person which i think is what this group is feeding off. I will re-read and explore further BK.info. You good people have already done much for me, bless you.

Please understand, I respect the BKs. These people truly believe in what they are doing. It is not my place to judge or criticize and we all have to find our own way. I can only speak from my personal point of view and the pain it causes in my life. My prediction is (just as i knew we would end up at this point) that my partner will again attempt to reach this non-attainable 'purity', will find no comfort and peace and only self recriminations. On the failure of this, he will be unable to cope and return to the bottle. If he survives he may become sober again with a lot of work. I have told him this, but also that i can help (having worked in mental health for 16 years) but instead of taking the relative easy way ie BKs and escaping, i can show him how he instead can deal with his issues. Probably not as a partner anymore, but as his best friend which i always will be.

You all have helped me more than you know and i thank you (and appologise for the length of this post).

di

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Post by abrahma kumar » 22 Feb 2007

Thank you Di for sharing your experience with the forum. You come across as being a very caring person - by nature and vocation. Maybe this forum, and the benefit you have derived from the short time spent on it, is the Universe's way of making a Karmic return to you for that great ''donor' spirit of yours.

Again I find it most appropriate to keep my post brief, but before saying Om Shanti there are three little words that come to mind that I'd like to tack on to the end of this post. I refer to the fact that many of the posters here query the BKWSU acquaintance with the concept of Duty of Care.

And so I too lift up mine own voice in homage to that ever-increasing chorus and observe that we shall NOT call out in the dark for much longer, not at all, because this forum seems to be serving as a real "University-cum-healing-place"

Take care Di and much soul-filled love to you and yours.

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Post by fluffy bunny » 23 Feb 2007

Just out of interest, is he, or has he actually been going to Morning Class every day or has he just been sucked into some service front and picking and chosing his depth of commitment?
Abrahma Kumar wrote:Maybe this forum, and the benefit you have derived from the short time spent on it, is the Universe's way of making a Karmic return to you for that great ''donor' spirit of yours. Again I find it most appropriate to keep my post brief, but before saying Om Shanti there are three little words that come to mind that I'd like to tack on to the end of this post. I refer to the fact that many of the posters here query the BKWSU acquaintance with the concept of Duty of Care.
I thought for a moment you wrote "University's way" there and nearly fell off my chair as I reached to load my shotgun! One thing for sure, as welcome as BKs are, this site is nothing to do with the BKWSU. And what we can do for the likes of Di is at least give her access to the inner reality of the BKWSU and their teachings. And Di, you seem to have intuited very well what is going on and what goes on in too many similar experiences. All respect to you ABK for the detachment in acknowledging the Duty of Care aspect despite being attached to the ogranization.

The BKs will not support him if he falls. They will not take him on. At that point he will be packed back off to his "lokiks"*, as they are called, to be looked after and supported. If he starts to drink they will out him. But if he is useful to them, and for as long as he is useful to them e.g. as a salespitch for the wonderful power of Yoga to conquer sin, they will use him. And if it comes to it they will encourage him to leave you and his family and give him advice on how to do this.

He will probably be going to Senior and Middle Management sister for "Shrimat" or God's advice and use this advice in his relationship with you. You might want to check this. You can ask him if he is taking Shrimat from the Seniors on how to run his life and relationships and what they say?

Do not kid yourself, the Senior BKs are very calculating, astute and political in the way they act. Put on the spot, they are expert in mental manipulation, sound bite spirituality and will cover their and the BKWSU's asses very quickly to the point of cutting out problem individual cases where family are involved. And, yes, those are the teachings all say what you are picking up about "detachment" etc.

What you could also do is ask to read the core teachng, the Murlis. Ask him for copies of the "Sakar Murlis" and "Avyakt Murlis" to read your self. See what they are, and how they view and your families values for yourself. Ask to read quite a few weeks worth, not just one or two hand picked ones. The Sakar Murlis are the best.

Doing so is the only way you are going to find out about who your husband is becoming. What he is self and group hypnotising himself to become. (And if they turn out to be God, hey, well, you luck out too because you will go to heaven for a birth or two just by reading them).


This is a risky route but you seem to have the balls and are pretty much in a no win situation so it might be worth a gamble. My prediction is at this point the serpent within will writhe and recoil.

*"lokiks" means mere physical family rather than his "true" spiritual family, the BKs. They consider that if he is a true Brahmin soul ... and you don't join ... then you are not his family but will probably take benefit in the next cycle by serving and associating with him.

I will expect to hear your laugh from here when you read this.

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Post by di » 23 Feb 2007

Yes ex-l, I hope you could hear me laughing, cannot quite imagine being the serving type of person ... too many years of having life and death decisions to make i guess for my patients.
Just out of interest, is he, or has he actually been going to Morning Class every day or has he just been sucked into some service front and picking and chosing his depth of commitment?
He goes usually one evening and 3 to 4 mornings a week. He has not been since our 'breakthrough' yesterday, but it will be interesting to see what happens when he does go back. I have backed right off at the moment, as i can see he is doing some really deep thinking. He is horrified of loosing me, and i think you are absolutely right, at this time he is picking his depth of commitment but before too much longer will be totally under their influence (but i am a bit of a force to be reckoned with, I hope ...).

You have been an incredible help to me ... thanks. So do you think if i went and said from one head sister to another (and remember in the medical field i wear that title) that we had incredible sex and their hypnosis did not work they would kick him out?? 8) not that i would do that but its a really nice idea ...

Back to being serious ... would you please expand on the serpent writhing and recoiling? I am afraid this is all so new to me I am not sure what you mean. But the more i find out the more horrified i am, to know he is supporting a religion which has its origins in the occult. i.e. channeling etc. what on earth has been opened up???

I will do as you suggest, it seems the only path to follow. He has many books here but i have never read them as i respected his privacy. Maybe his comment this am 'it does seem a bit extreme' suggests a hint of doubt to the teachings? but I will read and learn and do my best to keep him close to me as he is right now ... at the moment i am so ignorant and only going on instinct (and now your help).

... and so relieved to know i only need to go through a couple of births before I am OK.

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Post by fluffy bunny » 23 Feb 2007

di wrote:You have been an incredible help to me ... thanks. So do you think if I went and said from one head Sister to another (and remember in the medical field I wear that title) that we had incredible sex and their hypnosis did not work they would kick him out?? 8) not that I would do that but its a really nice idea ...

Back to being serious ... would you please expand on the serpent writhing and recoiling? I am afraid this is all so new to me I am not sure what you mean. But the more I find out the more horrified I am, to know he is supporting a religion which has its origins in the occult. i.e. channeling etc. what on earth has been opened up???
"The serpent" bit is purely my choice of word and prediction. It has no direct conection with the BKWSU's teachings as such. It is more a reference to the self help author, M. Scott Peck's work, "The People of the Lie" looking at the whole channelling, possession world from the point of view of a qualified consultant psychiatrist and private therapist.

I use the word possession in two ways. Literally as we understand, one soul possessing the another soul's body. And metapphorically, "to be possessed by the spirit of ..." could be anything; a nation, a club, a religion. We have discussed this under the subject of "egregore" here and in the archives of XBKchat.

Scott Pecks analysis the nature of psychic possess and the process of its challenge and "exorcism". This would just as well be alcholism. (Indeed, as an aside, from the point of view of a spiritualist, as an alcoholic he has probably opened himself up psychically and been possessed by other spirits other than Johnnie Walker ... but that is another topic). To begin with, everthing seems fine and dandy, the "spirit" is sweet, friendly and helpful, but when identified for what it is and brought forward and question, chellenged for its dishonest and lie, it recoils sometimes to strike out. The metaphoric image of a serpent is often used for these such influences.

Dealing with BKs, Senior BKs, the BKWSU as a whole, there is this whole "psychic" underworld/overworld going on both on the "cellective conscious" level but also on the literal level, e.g. trance, spooks, mediumship, channelling, possession etc. Although Lekhraj Kirpalani might have been possessed by "God" Shiva, it was still a possession of sorts and we are yet to see it all play out to the end. Their mediums channel their dead founder and other dead leaders/Senior Sisters etc. Lekhraj Kirpalani and "God" Shiva are still - allegedly - being channelled through a trance medium in India. This or these are the beings that he is falling in love or having Yoga with. The majority of us here question that but accept that probably their dead founder Lekhraj Kirpalani is still being channelled.

With the BKWSU, there is another "collective spirit" that carried people along. This is increasing seperate from the original teachings and original spirit behind the BKWSU and increasing dishonest to the point of outright misleading lies, re-writing and re-interpreting the original teachings.

It is already using violence to control the crowds it is attracting to its India headquarters (security wing armed with Lathis) and to BKs (PBKs), that question its authenticity in a non-violent manner. I waiting for this to increase, especially if the teachings continue to fail, e.g. "Destruction", and the likes of we and the PBKs continue to expose its lies, dishonesties and the negative effects of its practise.

There is probably an alternative understanding of this within psychotherapy; addiction, denial, lashing out but I do not know that language.

I quote a little of it here;

http://brahmakumaris.info/bb/viewtopic.php?t=256

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Stength

Post by proy » 23 Feb 2007

di wrote: the more I find out the more horrified I am, to know he is supporting a religion which has its origins in the occult. i.e. channeling etc. what on earth has been opened up???
Hi Di,

Congratulations on your courage, openness and strength of character. Your long posts are very welcome here, and will be helpful for others to read. There will be many people in your situation, or a similar one, who will be helped by your words. I can answer your question about what has been opened up. The important point is that the spirit channeling experiences will make him feel very "high", more so than any drink or drug. Having become addicted to this high he will want to know where it is coming from.

He knows it is not coming from a bottle of alcohol so he will think it is better and cleaner, as well as less damaging. He will have been given a whole package of metaphysical explanation for where his good feelings are coming from. You will find all of that detailed elsewhere on this site under 7 day course. Next will come the Murlis, when this spirit guide will tell him it is his spiritual Father and that it is here to give him his true inheritance. Then comes the catch. To deserve this so called inheritance of being high, or flying as they call it, he will have to become "pure". That means he will have to love only the spirit. He will be told to leave you and his family.

Even if you were to join the BKs, and please do not, he would be expected to give up not only sex and touching you, but any form of "attachment". The result would be that he would be, as you so rightly told him, untrustworthy as a partner, husband, or a Father. All his loyalty would be to the spirit that makes him feel high, and everything else would be impure and lokik.

Eventually, when they have him fully addicted, when he has cut all his ties with real people who really love him, both this spirit and the sisters will withdraw their energy from him. They will by then have "Fresh Meat" to concentrate on. Typically, it will be too late for him by then. He will have lost you, lost his friends, given away all his money, and be totally dependent on the BKs for any support he may get. As long as he is useful to them for performing whatever tasks he is skilled in then they will continue to use him until they tire him out completely.

Their hope will be that he becomes a workaholic doing "service" for them. Most of those who stay in work very long hours. If he ever lapses back into drink, burns out due to overwork, or gets involved with a woman then the BKs will drop him. They will not give him any aftercare. He will be on his own and left to cope as best he can. They are very cold in this way. They will be very loving towards him now but that is calculated for them to get what they want from him.

Most of the BKs at his centre will be deluded and think they are doing good. They will not understand the wickedness they are doing. They are all quite crazy, I know, I used to be one. All of what I write here is from my own experience. Not speculation, not hearsay, it is all things that have happened to me or to people in the centre I used to go to.

Find out if he is giving them any money. Like someone addicted to gambling he may be giving them a lot of money and not telling you. Be careful.

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fluffy bunny
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Re: Stength

Post by fluffy bunny » 23 Feb 2007

proy wrote:He will have lost you, lost his friends, given away all his money, and be totally dependent on the BKs for any support he may get. As long as he is useful to them for performing whatever tasks he is skilled in then they will continue to use him until they tire him out completely.

Find out if he is giving them any money. Like someone addicted to gambling he may be giving them a lot of money and not telling you. Be careful.
Oh, yes!

I forgot about it but this is ... NOT A JOKE AT ALL.

If your property is in joint names, change it into either your name or a trust for your children now. He will be encouraged to leave it all to the BKWSU to earn more good karma in the forthcoming Golden Age. In some cases, followers have even be encouraged to sign over their "power of attorney" to the BKWSU whilst still alive and perfectly healthy. retirement / insurance policy have also been cahsed in ... because there is no point, the world is going to end soon.

I mean it. I really mean. We have seen it happen more than once. Sometimes involving really dirty legal battles. There is a copy of a standard BKWSU Will that all followers are encourged to sign somewhere on the site. Dadi Janki is a regular at encouraging followers to dig deep in their pockets.

If he does not agree, just play back the "detachment to material things" card back to him and tell him it will help clear his karmic account quicker!

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Post by jannisder » 23 Feb 2007

Dear Di,

I am following you're posts :cry:, I wish you all the strength you need to get through this.

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Post by bansy » 23 Feb 2007

Dear Di
Welcome to the forum, although belated, but I've been simply watching this thread in the back, as your situation is an important one.

What it seems is that time is an important issue in your relationship. That time is much more valued in your situation concerning family and children. How can that time with your partner and the children be replenished ? Is it a lack of time together or a diminishing time together that has made your partner look for an escape out. What has upset the balance that holds a family together ?

The loss of time together is draining your energies. Your partner may be disalluding himself thinking that that the BKWSU are a support mechanism, whereas the support system for him is already right under his own roof. So instead of sharing, a disruption and the energy bubble in your home bursts, and everyone is hurt. No one will win. How do the children see all this ? You need to discuss and sit down as a family and work out the priorities, not forcing each others opinions, but to share what is good and what needs tobe patched. This is not really to do with the BKWSU, as like any Christian or Buddhism or even a cult, these organisations should be seen as a support system to what you have, not a replacement. There is a popular BK speak "Charity begins at home".

Yes, maybe the BKWSU is doing something necessary to help your partner. But if he does not explain to you or the children of his spiritual upliftment and journey, then he will move into more loneliness, because no one, not even the BKWSU, understands his situation more than himself and you. The greatest "karma" he has is with you.

So make that joint effort to spend more time together, with family and possibly with friends. Use your time, go over old photographs to show how good things have been and can still be. Revalue and share those good moments, life is really about the good times, not bad times. I think you are already concerned for the children.

Good luck.
Bansy

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Purity

Post by joel » 23 Feb 2007

Di,

I too, having read your posting, would first respond to share my sympathy and compassion for your difficult situation.

I am a distance from the BKs now--more than ten years away. From this distance it seems strange to hear someone else talk about the problems created by BK beliefs and practices that I myself followed rigidly for many years.

"I am a soul, attracted to this physical world through my senses, to the pleasure of my senses, away from the source of peace and purity and light and love that is within myself. Only a relationship with God, who is the essence and unlimited ocean of these spiritual qualities will bring me back to my true self. Those who seek to attract me to the physical world and relationships of the body are my enemy. By practicing to see every other person as a soul--a shining star in the forehead--and not the body, I can transcend the attractions of this old, impure world. But old habits run deep, so I must be ever vigilant to stay out of situations that will encourage old, body-conscious habits to erupt."

Even if moderated by forgiveness, acceptance, etc., the beliefs are still extreme. Although there is a variety of ways to practice the BK principles, the general tone is one of military self control. Of always keeping guard over the direction of one's thoughts. Checking if I am seeing the soul or if I am attracted by the body.

I think it might work better if we were lizards or other animals without social needs, without need for warmth or touch, or a drive for erotic arousal and satisfaction. A state of purity would be one in which I am totally radiating kindness, goodness, wisdom; not attached to anyone or any thing.

So, Di, that is the state of purity that I imagine that your husband is seeking. To some extent, if you seem to be glowing with peace and happiness, others will show some interest and possibly be attracted to your lifestyle. That is the BK concept of 'service', to "make others like yourself."

Whether real or artificial, one uses inner ecstasy to attract others. There can be wholesome family fun among the BKs, yet always an undercurrent of watchfulness among the Seniors, concerned that newcomers are discouraged from excessive "worldly conversation". If your identity is only Soul, there is no need to tell of one's life history, or to have any common interests outside, Godly knowledge, sharing the bliss of spiritual experiences since coming to God, and perhaps heated discussion of the latest cricket matches.

I am sure one attraction to your husband is that of having a single powerful hammer with which to solve every problem: Be soul conscious, remember God, see others as brothers, purify yourself in this, your last life in this vice-filled impure world. I am writing to inform you, Di, not that you should necessarly benefit by challenging his or BK beliefs. A lot of the other advice I've read here sounds good. You seem like a strong person with your own sense of direction.

If I could advise anything, it would be only to say that your maturity, and noncombative persistance in doing the best for yourself and your children, without getting overly wound up in your husband's beliefs and behaviors, which you cannot really control anyway, will model the maturity you have to offer in a relationship with him. Whether he chooses you or the BKs, or attempts to be pure within family life with you ... it's not really something you can control. Probably the most you can do is wish him the best, cooperate how you can, confront him on practical issues relating to the family, finances etc., as you need to.

Whether he wants to be more lizard than mammal as far as intimacy goes is up to him. I am sure he is thinking hard about losing you in exchange for a family that doesn't hug.

Wishing you the best.

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