Hi, I am new & would greatly appreciate some guidance

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alladin
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power of love

Post by alladin » 06 Apr 2007

Power of love should work! In the meantime, protect yourself, both invoking the company of the "Great Spirit" to stay next to you, - may he will enlighten your man!!- and mixing in the love a pinch of detachment so you can observe the scenes from a distance.

Even a little distance, is better than nothing, I found out. Don't accept to take in sorrow, if we take it, sooner of later we give it back, so stay clean in your own good energy, sister!
Kisses! :D

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Post by di » 06 Apr 2007

So right Alladin, I like kisses :D

I did not cause it, I cannot control it and I cannot cure it. But I can be there. This is how I will find the pinch of detachment. If it becomes too detrimental to the kids and I then I will have to do something but until then, I can love and honour him and be there for him. I hope this works. Its my last chance. cannot say I don't try. I think I have experienced every emotion 100 times each in the last 2 days. Thanks for the love, much back to you all.

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Post by jannisder » 06 Apr 2007

di wrote:I can love and honour him and be there for him. I hope this works.
It does work. When he knows you are willing to to let him explore and willing to have a platonic relationship (for a while) he shall feel save with you and love bomb you and the kids.

As my love said ... because i am detached, i can love more ... well so be it. At least the BKs did not win to get him completely. And believe me, we have a good time, he is fatastic in every way. Can even kiss and hug, even that is OK to him because there is no lust involved but pure love. It sounds like i am BK now but do not worry, i am still me but cope with his belief, and i can discuse anything about it with him.

I know he i not using me in anyway athoug it feels that way sometimes but that is just me.
From his point of few, there is noting to worry about, but just be happy. I enjoy every minute with him and i feel he is getting closer to me, not doing service all the time but being just himself. That is were i want him ... be himself. Get the Baba thing asside for a while to give him a rest. He needs that.

I create a nice home, do fun things and make him laugh by being silly. I told him what i know about BKWSU, and i will not become a full dedicated BK but will support him and even go to the centre every now and then. The older sister is a very nice woman and fun to talk to. I am not open to any Dristhi, i only give it to him and belief in the law of attraction. That is working for me about all my life!!

If i was a vunerable person i would be a BK by now, but i am not. Neigther would you Di.
You are strong enough to support him and make him stay with you and give him the space he needs to overcome his BK exploration. Than you have won a great deal. A hard thing, but what we have to do is to relax. Don't get tired from all the negative BK information and slow down the fight with the man. Not completely stop it but to get of their back.

As soon he feels relaxed, the door is open again. But keep him near! Otherwise BK is on the winning side. Only through you he can stay in contact with a lokok life and you have all the time to expand.

Hope it makes some sence

More kisses

Jan.

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abrahma kumar
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Post by abrahma kumar » 06 Apr 2007

Today is a strange day with my internet connection. It keeps dropping so here i try again. I had typed a whole stream of consciousness that drama dictated ought never to see the light of day so what this time? Jannisder, Your story is an epic. Jannisder, only yesterday i made a post in which I came out and announced that Abrahma Kumar is in a male body.

Anonymity is good sometimes but at others not. Jannisder it sounds like you are playing a dangerous game with a companion you do not quite know. To keep it short and simple: Your man may be accustomed to playing both ends against the middle all of his life. He may be inured to the pain from the splintering of personality that comes from bucking the rules in so flagarant a manner. We always pay a price irregardless of what we think.

Forget the BKs, do you know this man? Does he talk about himself? We learn that he wants to do service come what may. Well thats nothing new as many a soul has done service when the condition may not have been particularly good but to do so over zealously as if service belonged to them! Well that's a different story.

Picture this: You and this man cointinue and things are sometimes good sometimes not so good. As time goes by his service-worthiness grows to the extent that he is travelling far and wide propounding the BKWSU philosophies. While in the background you know the secret places! the secret deeds! The small infractions against Shrimat! The bigger infractions against Shrimat! Till there comes a time when: What is that Shrimat anyway?!

But do not worry, every little thing is going to be alright. Whatever that means. Jannisder as a brother who has known the brightest and darkest parts of the soul, please take care. We know that you will do whatever you wanna do. That's your right but sister, do it with your eyes open. If in the final analysis you will be unable to take responsibility for your own part in this drama you may find yourself high and dry with nothing of your project around you. Take care sister and as always good wishes to the brother. After all we are all beads on the Rosary of Rudra.


Om Shanti

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Post by di » 07 Apr 2007

My son, very proud of himself he tells me because he worked this out all by himself. He put his arm around my shoulders and said:

"Don't worry Mum. People are naturally stupid. They do very stupid things. Sometimes it takes a while for it to 'click' with them what idiots they have been. It will be alright."

One enlightened 16 year old in my eyes. A deep thinker and a very loving son. They all are.

Spoke to my partner's daughter today. He had full custody of his two children. Apparently when he was in the BKs before, she said he was him, but not him. He wouldn't hear what they would say. Things he should have been cranky at, he did not care. They would ask to do something they really shouldn't be doing, and he would say, go right ahead. He just did not care what they did. She said he was really spaced out all the time, and they couldn't talk to him. Very quiet and calm. Too calm. He tried to get them to go to the center. They only went once, because there was food. They both hated it and the youngest one said they were just too nice. She did not trust them at all. They say their Father was really weird.

So apparently he did not attend to his responsibilities as a parent then either. He let them do whatever they wanted. They would have been about 16 and 18 and left them on their own for 2 weeks when he went to India. Still both at school, unable to drive, and no family anywhere near them. Says a lot about the duty of care BK-dom spouts doesn't it. I am not saying all BKs go to this extent, but we are all re-living the detachment and lack of commitment encouraged, just as those girls did before me. Those poor girls. At least she said, even though she has nothing to do with their mother, they have always me to come to and talk to if they want too. Made me cry. I was so touched. Their Father never contacts them. Obviously practices his detachment to his lokik family very earnestly. This is what i am up against.

It took him about 3 years or so before he snapped out of it. I think he was as deep then as what he is now. I am just hoping that something will trigger as it did before. I am managing. I keep hoping he will wake up and come home early. I know that's not going to happen but there is always wishful thinking. So every time I hear the gate my insides just turn upside down. I am a bunch of nerves wondering what is going to walk in that door given he will have spent 4 non stop days under their control and the circumstances under which he left. I have left a voice message to say I loved him, missed him and didnt' want him to leave home. I hope he listens to it before the long drive home.

Always thought you were a man Abek :)

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Post by fluffy bunny » 13 Apr 2007

di wrote:So what does this mean an instrument and the task please? He refused to tell me more.
Sorry, I missed this question;

In BK speak, an "instrument soul" is a high ranking BK, usually a sister but in some cases a brother, e.g. Australia where Charlie is, or South America where Ken hold court.

They are considered "instruments of God" and their opinion is "equal to Gods", e.g. Shrimat. If junior BKs follow the "instruments" advice they are conscious clear - in theory - for whatever reprecussions happen. The BK system is designed so that any junior that it having difficulties is encouraged to go to a senior to receive "Shrimat", instructions, on what to do from them.

Even if that senior is off the planet and ENTIRELY without that senior knowing anything else but what they are told and ABSOLUTELY nothing from or in your defense.

Hope that helps.

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Instrument souls

Post by joel » 13 Apr 2007

ex-l wrote:Even if that senior is off the planet and ENTIRELY without that senior knowing anything else but what they are told and ABSOLUTELY nothing from or in your defense. Hope that helps.
Yes, the Seniors can be the "Innocent Lord' who is readily manipulated. But what I wonder is if BKs faith could allow them to kill. Or the other way, that a person capable of killing might be able to share the faith and intoxication of BKs. Usually the teacher will say, 'I get a bad vibe from that person.' They have a good chance of being right. It just risky if someone promises the world to that person by accident, and the person accepts the promise and holds them responsible, to the point of raging or silent poison revenge.

I would say it's a probability thing. If enough people come through, and unless God is really protecting them, there will be someone who dies under dubious circumstances. It may have already happened. We know enough to name some names of people who died, and we wonder if they needed to die. The BKs don't wonder, and that is why I don't trust them, I think they may be ill in some way if they don't feel an question on hearing that someone killed themself after trying to follow the BK way.

To be infallible, is the forbidden fruit, the kiss of death, the Pandora's box. To be infallible takes us out of the Garden. There is nothing to learn if we know. And if knowing is not enough, it is not really knowing. It's knowing about the world of 'should'. Even BapDada is down on the word should. He's always saying 'be it right now.' It took me years to understand that the right now for me needn't be sitting in the big hall on the mountain to be fulfilling.

I think the BK.info site, with its 8000 original articles, is much closer to completion than the Yagya ever will be.

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Post by di » 16 Apr 2007

Thank you all,
ex-l wrote:Hope that helps.
Some more information, ta. This is some roller coaster ride. The more I find out, the less sense I can make of anything. He comes back from retreat still in a zombie trance state, and very determined. Very cold, indescribably detached. I was so not in a good place, I withdrew, kept to myself. Did the neccessary things around the house. Became a mouse. Had enough. Gone into survival mode. I totally withdrew and shut down. Rather obvious to him where I was at. So what happens? For 5 days now, he has been the affectionate, well tempered, loving husband. Go figure. I cannot. I am remaining reserved and unfortunately my trust is rather shaken to say the least. Now I just sit on the fence, and observe. Pushing neither one way or another. I just want peace and quiet. So now I have less understanding than ever. None of this makes any sense to me. Some people just shouldn't be BKs. I don't know about sending them loopy, but it sure sends their families around the twist :?

ex-l, your words may be very harsh at times, and seem callous, but I have to agree with you on many points. I have given up trying to understand this ... and my IQ is supposed to be right up there ... I am lost. You really have to be a BK and gone through to the other side again to understand what is going on.

Much love to you all, and all the help and love you have given to me. If anything amazing happens, (like he becomes a born again Christian) or finds something else to be obssessive over :roll:, I'll let you all know. Meanwhile, I'll just expect more roller coaster highs and lows, and try not to get drawn into it. I've got way too much work (as in earn money) to do. Its a busy time for business and I've spent enough time trying to sort this out, and getting more confused. None of it makes sense.

I really hope my story helps someone else out there. My family is just an example of what it is like. Maybe someone thinking of becoming a Yogi, may think twice after reading these sorts of posts. I hope it helps someone. Its like living with someone who is stoned most of the time ... not a good thing. They think they are being so loving and nice, accomplishing fantastic results with whatever they touch, but they are just out of it, and certainly not performing they way they think they are. They cannot see how untrustworthy they have become. Sad to see intelligent people become so brain dead.

I've seen bi-polar (manic-depressives) with the same distorted thinking about themselves.

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Post by katie » 16 Apr 2007

Hi Di,

I certainly agree with you about the roller coaster ride. I almost got off of it but like you things have changed again now.

Mine came to a head Easter weekend. I lost it with him, told him not to bother coming out with me to a party we had, I would have better time on my own. He still went but not with me. did not say one word to me. Then about hour before end, he says to my family how much he loves them but will be leaving in the morning. My 20 year daughter went mad, sent him a text telling him he what he was :oops: for treating me how he did etc.

I did not go home. Too upsetting to see him go. Got home lunchtime next day!! He was still there, so said, "I thought you was leaving". He said he will but that he had got no where to go to...

I made him talk. Told him how he makes me feel. How cold and detached he is. Said to him that he is becoming severly depressed and I will go to counselling with him if he feels it will help. I told him bout this site. So he goes and sits on the PC for hour reading through. Kept saying they do not know what they talking about and how I should go and talk to someone at centre that is a BK NOW. I said that if he cares, go and read some of the people on site have been a full BK for over 10 yrs and are still having problems. So he goes away again reads bit more.

I said to him if that what he wants to become one, then go for it. I am not standing in his way. But I will not put up with it. Its not fair to my kids either. They see what I am going through. He had totally wrecked easter weekend for them. They only come home when on holidays from university!!

So he goes out to have some time to think. My brother went to meet him for a chat. After 4 hrs he came back and I could see the strain had gone again. A different man. I could not believe the change. I have my husband back again.

He said he will go back to the centre as he now has a lot of questions he wants to ask, over certainly things he has read on forum ... So far he hasn't. So chilled out now, had a fantastic weekend. I know it will probably rear its ugly head again. I do not think I am over it yet. It cannot be that simple. He knows I wont stand in his way. But I wont allow it to cause havoc in my family again!

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Post by fluffy bunny » 16 Apr 2007

di wrote:ex-l, your words may be very harsh at times, and seem callous, but I have to agree with you on many points. I have given up trying to understand this ... and my IQ is supposed to be right up there ... I am lost. You really have to be a BK and gone through to the other side again to understand what is going on.
Thank you and I am sorry. Yup, I wish to be the dentist's drill or the surgeon's knife of the forum. I do not mean to cause you pain but I cannot mince my words for you to make them any easier to digest.

I think that you are starting to understand very well what it is all about and if I can save you a lot of grief by saving your family home, giving you some tools of knowledge to protect yourself with, or shorten the enevitable process, then I will.

File me under "poacher turned gamekeeper" or a "good vampire" that has turned vegetarian ;-).

Its hard to communicate one's self through the internet but I really respect and appreciate the amazing thing you women are doing of coming forward here to document the break down of your relationship for all to see the reality of the BK world. There are 100s, if not 1,000s that have gone through what you are going through. And I am sure 10s or 100s that are reading all this today and taking strength or inspiration from it.

May be, we might be able make the BKWSU HAVE to change. Stop all this. And protect others. Experience says that this will not be easy and will take as much ruthless force on our behalf as they exhibit onto other's life.

We need to blow their cover with the United Nations, other religions, schools and business ... internet forums ... everywhere or anywhere they prey on for their power and influence ... everywhere they deceive with their faked up history and practised sweet talking. To tell them what we are going to do and then to go ahead and do it; as slowly, gently and persistently as they do ... until these matters are resolved.

One day at a time and as energy allows.

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Post by jannisder » 16 Apr 2007

Talking is one thing, doing something is another. How are the letters of concern coming along???

Set all BKWSU PC's an anything involved on "fire" with emails and letters of concern.

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Post by yudhishtira » 16 Apr 2007

Di,

all my love and good wishes are with you. I had thought before I went away that you had come to an agreement with him. But the pulls of an addictive personality are strong. I wish you all the best whatever happens and please keep posting here, you have a great heart!

I am a little chary to let all these guys off the hook by straight blaming the BKs ... at the end of the day, our lives are our own responsibilites. I was just talking to a work colleague today whose long term partner behaved really unfeelingly whilst they where on holiday and now won't discuss the pain she is experiencing as a result.

I, myself, have experienced relationships where guys think that they can put their emotions in a box they never have to let you have access to ... its a sadly common male trait (sorry guys here, but its true ...) which can make you feel like ******* if you let it. Now in her case, its not because of any organisation her partner belongs to ... that's his behaviour trait ... and we have to be aware that just because these people have joined the BKs. It doesn't remove their old behaviour traits of emotional suppression and dishonesty with a magic stick!

Unfortunately, it doesnt help it either in many cases but your partner, and these other guys under discussion, have also to take direct responsability for their own behaviour and you need to see it is down to them too.

He has chosen to run away to the BKs rather than making a real life choice and he is blaming his own suppression and lack of emotion on Shrimat. Very convenient ...

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Post by fluffy bunny » 16 Apr 2007

yudhishtira wrote:He has chosen to run away to the BKs rather than making a real life choice and he is blaming his own suppression and lack of emotion on Shrimat. Very convenient ...
How can he Yudhishtira, if he is going through some Honeymoon Period seesaw?

And how can he fit in Shrimat with an ignorant Shudra/Untouchable "lokik" wife?*
  • * no offence intended Di, you know what I am illustrating here, not voicing personal opinion.
These people have no idea what Shrimat is, Yu, and as we have discovered, the partner has already been sneaking off taking Shrimat from the SS about what to do rathe rather than deal with it. That is encouraged by the machine.

We have had very specific incidents here which have illustrated every from the step-by-step route the sisters advise for women to slip out the side of families and a committed marriage, to the SS advising sisters to have abortions because having children will be a "pull on their intellect" and "lower their fortune" for the forthcoming Golden Age.

I am sorry to be pedantic but we have seen this too from the husband's point of view, where a wife got suck in via the Inner Space route and the BKs latched on to her. Even though she lost the plot completely, as quite a few in the Honeymoon Period do, the BKs backed her, gave her advice on what to do and how to lose him, even falsified letters for court saying that she was not a member as they had "no such thing as a membership" just operated an "open door policy".

What made it more disgusting was that during her Honeymoon Period, she actually had a sexual affair with the family's IT man in their children's room and then flipped the other way, cleaning herself, changing her clothes if he so much as brushed past her, sleeping in full pajyamas until she could get out of the double and into the single bed/spare room. And the BKs seemingly even used their connections in local government to back her.

Western divorce courts have been quite a liberation for some Hindi sisters and this couple were Indians. I do not know your ethicity but in my experience, what is going on amongst the Hindis is not always translated acoss the social barriers to the Westerners. The husband was utterly confused and destroyed by it all. He ended up losing his children and many, many $10,000s. She was all over the extended family trying to get money to give to the BKs ... Hindi supporters of the BKs even offered the husband bribes to drop the case and other inducements.

So, no, having a relationship with a BK is no longer having a relationship with just one person. Not even one person and their family. It is not the family path if you are not in the Alokik family. What would interest me is to find out how many successful mixed relationships there actually are, especially where there are kids, and how many BKs use BK as an excuse to break their committments? You ought to realise that large parts of many Hindi communities fear the BKs.

"Storks and swans" and ne'er the twain shall meet.

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Post by di » 17 Apr 2007

Very informative, and absolutely no offence taken. Let it fly Ex-I! :D. This is the question I have been asking all along.

I, too, would love to know or hear from the 'married' couples that have a wonderful working relationship withing the BK confine. I have heard many exist from my partner but never actually met or spoken to any.

What are your thoughts on this? Remember, I am now trying to step back and be an observer to the best of my abilities, because it helps me deal with the crazy situations I have here. Kids are doing OK. They are too busy being teenagers to be worried.

My partner ended up telling me he had to become so deeply involved as he was having a terrible time fighting the drink, and he would do whatever it took to stay sober. (My thoughts are he is still trying to take the easier way out. An alcoholic thinks he doesnt need AA because he is better than them. An idea the BKs reinforce). So he is still in denial about his recovery from what I can see, but I could be wrong.

As I said, he has been a loving, affectionate husband. Only been to Murli a couple of times since his return. Not the every morning he originally informed me. Has broken Shrimat like you wouldn't believe! I have been doing all the things i normally would, taking care of the house, business, kids, cooking, etc. Getting back into my music. The things for me.

So what is going on with him now? He has been increasingly strange. This morning he is really strange. Not in a zombie state, but having trouble concentrating ... it is different to the 'I don't give a s*** about life, I feel good' thing he gets when he has been meditating and heavily involved. Not stoned, just very flat. did not want to do anything, no motivation. Began to think of things he hadn't attended to and really needed urgent attention.

I deliberately havent been picking up the slack and 'saving' like I used to. He knew of them and hadn't forgotten but just hadn't worried. He is very, very tired. He is like a man who hasn't slept in weeks. Is he coming of the 'high'? Is he being drawn back into the body-consciousness he has fought so hard to forget? (because I havent exactly been the good girl either. I have been frequently reminding him of some of the really good things in life! :wink: ). I know he will probably blame our love making for him being so tired. I guess it may be the case. If you tell yourself something enough, it will eventually become true. I just get full of boundless energy and the feel goods.

This is yet another aspect I haven't seen of him. Any ideas of what might be happening? Or should I just give up. But then again, if something has started to crack the ice, I don't exactly what things to freeze over again, if you know what i mean.

You good people have been through this. What are the stages of 'waking up'? or am I just wishful thinking?

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Post by joel » 17 Apr 2007

di wrote:So what is going on with him now? He has been increasingly strange. This morning he is really strange. Not in a zombie state, but having trouble concentrating ... I know he will probably blame our love making for him being so tired ... Any ideas of what might be happening? or should I just give up.
Here are my speculations.

It's rather confusing to a person when their body responds pleasurably to intimacy, while their mind is frantically trying to remind the person, "you are losing your inheritance, defaming the Father, blackening your face, etc. etc." So on one hand, his knowing the danger and attraction of alcohol; on the other, the idea of BK spirituality while also being sustained by the immediate comfort and intimacy of being with you.

When with the BKs, he gives himself over, with you he also gives himself over. He knows he doesn't want to give himself over to alcohol although probably is drawn to the temporary freedom from conflict. To live as one's own master, one needs to be able participate actively, rather than simply surrender to whatever influence (even a loving one) is the closest.

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