A common link amongst the women

Post Reply
di
Friends and family of
Posts: 137
Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Location: Australia

A common link amongst the women

Post by di » 02 Apr 2007

It occurred to me that Jan, Katie and myself have many things in common with our situations. For example, we are all in the same age bracket. Katie and my children are roughly the same ages. (Forgive me Jan, I don't know your circumstances here). We obviously have been married and divorced, or had a very close marriage type situation previously.

We have chosen to be with men who attracted us initially by their gentle, sincere approaches and their spirituality and their ability to have fun and intimacy. Little did we know these men knew their connections with BKs, knew fully of the teachings, had become very involved with the BKs, obviously left the organisation, knowingly got romantically involved with someone to a deep extent, did not disclose any information of this history, and once settled, reverts back to the BKs. I hadn't told you good people but we have only been together for 2 years as well. Jan's relationship is also very new. And the thing is we are not teenagers and I don't think any of us would consider ourselves to be totally naive and innocent of human nature at our ages. Just BK nature ... I had never heard of them before this like Katie.

These men's mood swings, the roller coaster, the deception, our ages, our circumstances. I too was the one who earned the good money, and had the ability to get the house, the financial wherewithal, the ability to set my goals and achieve them. It looked like he did but obviously he did not. I don't know the situation with Jan and her friend's personal situation. Katie is obviously securely set up and Jan has a certain standard of living as well. This brings a few questions to mind and I would love your ideas on this. BKs, ex BK, PBKs and friends and families. All comments welcome.

Why have we these things in common? Is it just our age and we are at a stage in life where we are more active in seeking answers and support?

Why are we in the situation only us women are speaking? Where are the men and what are their circumstances? We know they exist but where are they and how do they cope? Why have these men left the BKs, actively sought involved and fully committed relationships (or the unspoken promise of same), deceived their partners to such an extent and then returned to the BKs? What do they hope to accomplish and why have they done it? They cannot have done this unknowingly, so why so irresponsible and such irreprehensible behaviour?

Are these particular men attracted to a security and strength in us in the beginning and through their subconscience hoping we can fix their lives and do an 'eternal feel good' for them?

And then when, of course, this doesn't work they perhaps feel intimidated and 2nd class to these women and revert back to the BKs to 'fix' it, to hide or to seek justification in their lack of self-esteem and ability to produce the goods? Thereby passing the buck (problem/responsibility) onto the female they are possibly envious of? My man actually admitted to me that I had more spirituality about me than him and thus made him feel totally empty. Are our men having mid life crisis? Trying to find a higher meaning to make of their life as they are at least half way through it, and what do they have to show for it? Just a bit of food for thought (or is this churning?) Might make a BK yet :lol: not.

Please do not misread me, I do not want to sound egotistical. These are theoretical questions and may or may not apply. I do not think I am anything exceptional, far from it, but I was brought up by my parents to learn to use the humble gifts and skills I had been given to the best of my ability. Besides, being a working single mum totally responsible for your children tends to make you rather resourceful and adaptable.

I would be very interested in your very experienced opinions on this and other questions you can think of relating to our common life/age/materialistic/children/menfolk situations. Of course, our very painful and negative experiences with the BKs is not limited to our very similar situations, but it would appear that it is a definite group. To me, if I can understand at least some of these questions, I can understand the whole situation more and it helps me deal with it in a more productive ie less emotional reactive way. Mainly to get the answer to why would they know what the BKs are all about, chase us for a committed relationship and be so outrightly deceptive and then destroy that relationship to revert to the BKs.

Is it nothing but a big fear/guilt trip they are on? But surely they must have had some idea? Or am I expecting too much thinking from self/group hypnosis/mind control victims? Is this a secret deep knowledge tactic of the BK underground to recruit more people for service? Marry them, bring them in, then dump them (or is this finally sending me paranoid?). I do understand their are different personalities involved here but is it the squashing of the personality into a servient state that is the problem and connects us all in this situation?

Sorry all, just an edit. Have to put it the way it happened. I told him I felt I was a spiritual person and he said, "Yes, it made him feel empty". Sorry

katie
Friends and family of
Posts: 22
Joined: 30 Mar 2007
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK

Post by katie » 02 Apr 2007

Hi

Its all very confusing and hard to grasp but like you say I felt I had a lot in common with Di as soon as I joined the forum and began to read the things that were being said. I am the same. I met him, he was a very romantic loving guy. After being with me for 6 months we got engaged on Valentine's Day and married 6 months later. Now after just 18 months into the marriage things have changed.

What happened to the loving little gestures? The nice texts, the sweet phone calls while I was in work, the romantic poems, gone and forgotten. We should still be in the Honeymoon Period as we havent been together for that long.

I was married for 15yrs before, have 3 children. I am not a fool. I have stood on my own 2 feet. Yeh, sometimes just managing to keep my head above water, but never gone under. My kids are polite and well brought up.

But what I hear Di's oldest saying is the same as my older 2. He's got the hump again miserable Ba******. He doesn't have much contact with his 19yr old son. Stopped seeing him when he was 2 as he split up with the mother. He felt it was best. What for the child to not know its Father!!!!

Yeh, in whose eyes?? Now we see him when he wants something, haven't seen or heard from him since Xmas. If he does come over, I do not feel they have a good relationship, as they talk for a bit then its silence. I have to keep them going, or my kids ...

Getting back to my husband he is a moody, miserable person now that I feel I creep around to avoid upsetting him. This is not normal. Then I get told off as I tell him he is miserable which he turns around and says, so would you be if someone kept saying your miserable.

The other week we travelled in the car for 2 hours, he did not say a word. I got the blame for not talking to him. Yet I am sick of making conversation, only to be told I am really not interested in idle chat. I thrive on chatter. I can talk for England as you might of noticed. He is slowly changing me into someone I do not like. I feel like I am putting on a happy front, when I am breaking up inside if you know what I mean..

It has baffled me with what you said Di, because I sit there reading it and cant help agreeing with it all. What is it they want?? Why have they deceived us?? He said to me he hasn't been himself and he will become a better nicer person. I said the man I fell in love with and married is the one I want not this super human that is supposed to be coming.

So to top it all you might as well say he has lived a lie to get me now he is trying to break me ...

Katie

di
Friends and family of
Posts: 137
Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Location: Australia

Post by di » 02 Apr 2007

4 more things in common then,
when I tried to show him the forum or talk about it, his exact words were ' I am not interested in idle chit chat" just the same answer as your hubby gives, word for word
He also told me he was doing this because he wasnt being himself and would become a much better person.. like you Katie, I told him the one he already was is the one I am in love with..
Just like you, I just managed to keep my head above water and bring up 3 well adjusted polite kids... even yours and mine are saying the same things about their step dad!
He also will go and sulk and not talk and hide away for hours. I think one of the most cruelest things to do to a person

User avatar
proy
ex-BK
Posts: 489
Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: Started as BK became ex-BK here

A common link amongst the women

Post by proy » 02 Apr 2007

Hi,
Are men allowed to join in this conversation or do you women want to be left as a woman only chat in this thread?
I have been asking myself some of the same questions you are asking, so I don't necessarily have answers for you.
The first question that came to my mind is are there any men who have been left (emotionally or literally, geographically) by women who joined the BKs. I think ex-l said there were, and I have not been around the BK world for very long, but it seems to be mostly women who come here because of their men's behavior.
If this is a women only zone, just tell me. I will not be offended. I have not known what to say to you for a day or two anyway. I am glad one or two of your men read my post about my experience, and I feel deeply for you, but I am getting about as lost as you are about practical steps of what to do next.
Anyway, the questions you raise are very much to the point, and if I can discuss them with you I will do so. Let me know one way or another. Lots of love.

katie
Friends and family of
Posts: 22
Joined: 30 Mar 2007
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK

Post by katie » 02 Apr 2007

Hi Di,

I cant believe the likeness. Its as if they are brainwashed into doing, saying the same things. He does the same. Just goes off on his own. Wont talk to anyone. Will just mumble if you try and talk to him, or walk away and not even reply which in my books is damm right rude. It mental torture ...

I wish I could wake him up out of this, but to be honest the more I read the more I think I am fighting a losing battle. The man I fell in love is slowly vanishing ...

He does things which I get twisted round until I am doubting myself. We went to my son's girlfriend's 21st birthday at their University. He didnt want to come but did. It got to about 7 and he just left me, which is not the first time. So I got on the coach back to stay with my daughter. I then get the blame for leaving him and making him walk 5 miles for a cab. I then had to get life home next day as he had taken my car and gone ...

When I got home I said to him, you owe me an apology. Well, he went into one shouting saying he did nothing wrong. It was my fault I had to walk away. He drags up anything, a row in the past again twisting them around. Yet I am suppose to forget things he has said to me, like calling me a cu**, which in my lifetime I have never ever had anyone use that word for me. Yeh, I have been callled a few things but never that !!!

Katie

katie
Friends and family of
Posts: 22
Joined: 30 Mar 2007
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK

Post by katie » 02 Apr 2007

Please feel free to add some light on the subject. A man's point of view is always appreciated.

Katie

di
Friends and family of
Posts: 137
Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Location: Australia

Post by di » 02 Apr 2007

Yes please, this is something we really feel a need to explore. All comments from all sexes and beliefs are asked for.

Katie, that is just so wrong. Mine has only sworn around me, not at me. It is unacceptable. Maybe he has alot of other problems as well as the BK and nicotine withdrawl. Though the quit smoking can turn normally lovely people into paranoid monsters. If this is the case, then it is his responsibility to do something about it. Take care Katie, be true to yourself.

User avatar
joel
ex-BK
Posts: 440
Joined: 01 May 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: I was an active BK for 12 years. That was long ago. Now I am just a person.

Post by joel » 02 Apr 2007

katie wrote:[...]He does things which I get twisted round til im doubting myself, we went to my sons girlfriends 21st bday at their uni, he didnt want to come, but did, it got to bout 7 he just left me which is not the first time, so I got on the coach back to stay with my daughter, I then get the blame for leaving him n making him walk 5 miles for a cab, I then had to get life home next day as he had taken my car and gone ...
Katie,

Briefly, your partner seems to be behaving in the deceptive, dishonest, blaming and manipulative ways that remind me of those of an active alcoholic (that I am familiar with from reading rather than from real-world experience.) Mostly you've been posting about his behavior. Unfortunately, if he is behaving crazy and communicating crazy, your process of adjusting/adapting risks your going somewhat crazy too.

No amount of challenging what the BKs believe or teach, or even challenging the BKs in person will be very helpful, in my limited opinion. (That goes for anyone who has a partner that is in the group.) Your problem is with him, his behavior, your relationship with him, not the group.) His beliefs and rituals would matter less if he were loving, communicating, and responsible.

If I were you, I would get myself to a support group like Al-Anon, where people talk about how adapting to another person leads to ignoring and losing touch with oneself. Or to a therapist.

While it's great to be able to have a forum such as this to talk, vent, exchange, and to learn more about the BKs, if it were me, I would want a live person (or people) in front of me, hearing and responding to me. Because we are so dependent on the responses of others in establishing our own sense of who we are. Friends can be a help, but are not always savvy to crafty patterns of manipulation and deception that can infect ones own self.

My response to your request for input would be to caution you to carefully protect your own sanity, especially if you think that is that is the last thing you need. If you don't need any help, it won't take much help to find that out. I am concerned that you might not know how much the situation is twisting you (your words) concerned that you should give yourself every opportunity to be supported in being able to listen to yourself and to make positive decisions for your own life.

User avatar
proy
ex-BK
Posts: 489
Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: Started as BK became ex-BK here

Re: A common link amongst the women

Post by proy » 02 Apr 2007

di wrote:Why are we in the situation only us women are speaking? Where are the men and what are their circumstances? We know they exist but where are they and how do they cope?
Yes, where are the men? Are there men in this situation? Those members who have been on the old XBKChat forum - were there any men there whose women had run off to join the BKs. To correct myself, in these three women's lives the men have not run off. They were already BKs and they did not tell the women about it in some cases. Why did they lie? Do they just want their cake and eat it? Sorry, I have not many answers, more questions.

I have one theory. Women have a stronger nurturing instinct than men. Mostly if there is a marriage split up then the man will leave and the woman stays and takes care of the children.

Maybe if a woman feels drawn to join the BKs she will not do so because she feels that it is her part to nurture the family she has raised. In other words, men are generally less responsible than women, and more likely to be selfish and abandon their loved ones. More likely to be irresponsible, in other words.

Katie, what your man said to you is more than unacceptable. How can he say such a degrading thing to you, show such disrespect, and how can he be seeing you in this way, to say that? I am used to a bit of swearing, I am no prude, but this is different. He is calling you that word! I am so appalled.

I think at least two of your men have other problems besides the BKs. The bad thing is that the BKs will imagine they have the solutions to all these problems, when they do not. At least you three are here and have some place to go to get information and to let off steam. You will also be getting a reality check about how your men are behaving, which is very badly indeed, and hopefully some insights into why this is happening.

I agree strongly with Joel that it is time you all sought some professional help face to face. In your place I would go to a marriage counseling service. In the UK they are called "Relate". There must be similar organisations in your countries. Your men should go with you. They have to, if they want a relationship at all. If they refuse to go with you then they are admitting that they do not care about you enough to go to a simple meeting with a professional who will give an independent opinion and advice. That professional will probably not know anything about the BKs, but you can take material from this forum with you if you should need it.

At the very least you will be showing your men that it is time for them to take the situation very seriously. Up to now it seems only you have been taking it seriously enough to seek help. Now the men must join you in trying to save the relationship.

I think you should continue to come here, but I think it is time for face to face relationship counseling. First say to your men that they must come with you. Make an appointment and insist. Also Al-Anon is good, but in that case you will most likely be going alone, I think. It is well known that the family of addicts suffer and get more ill than the addicts themselves. This is a fact from many Alcoholics Anonymous studies. You all will be probably suffering more than your men. They need to realise this fact.

User avatar
abrahma kumar
Friends and family of
Posts: 1133
Joined: 23 Jun 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Contact:

Post by abrahma kumar » 02 Apr 2007

Seems like I am finding the forum compulsive viewing today.

One could tell that his was coming - I had been in anticipation of such a post since Saturday. So side-stepping the gender issue for a while - just a while - I want to share a little of my insiders view of the BKWSU. Please do not put any significance on the order in which these are presented. I am typing 'live' since I do not prepare posts beforehand. Thanks.

0.0 Women are at the forefront of the BKWSU.

0. All BKWSU formal seating arrangements are in accordance with a stricture that males/females ought not to sit together. There ought to be a discernible space between them. These pattern extends to interaction between children also. My understanding is that this is not a matter of superiority/inferiority but so as to reduce the potential for over familiarity developing between members of the opposite sex. Each one co-operates in the establishment and maintenance of an atmosphere of coolness. Means amongst other things that the sense organs are under 'control'. Each individual being in a state of soul consciousness of course.

1. The BKWSU's IDEAL male/female couple would be a unit in which BOTH man and woman were FULLY committed to living the BKWSU lifestyle. Any young children to follow suit as a matter of course.

2. In that IDEAL male/female couple BOTH parties would be of the mindset that SHIV BABA (BKWSU's postulate as God, the Father of all souls) is the HUSBAND/WIFE. Because BKWSU teaching promotes Shiv Baba as the One with whom we souls should have all relationships with, it is not uncommon that the pair adopt the standard form of address that is intrinsic to the BKWSU system. By this I mean that the man and woman would see themselves as being spiritual brother and sister.

3. That IDEAL male/female couple would therefore have a vested interest in supporting each other in complying with the various requirements of a model BKWSU student lifestyle: diet (vegetarian), personal hygiene, patterns of spiritual study and meditation etc etc. (please see the document on the Maryadas for further details)

4. Since that IDEAL male/female couple would be leading a celibate lifestyle there WILL be no question of children.

5. All children, like any other human soul, are encouraged to see SHIV BABA as the Supreme Parent with whom that child is to - just like the parents - have ALL relationships: Father, Teacher, Guide and all offshoots. Therefore, the expected mum/dad/child regard accorded in most families is down-played as a matter of BKWSU doctrine.

6. That IDEAL male/female couple are addressed in certain BKWSU quarters as Yuguls.
And I think that in many parts of the world yugul couples meet regularly - with the BKWSU blessing - to 'support each other in the matter of creating and sustaining a happy home' on the basis of BKWSU student principles of course.

These meetings, so I am told, are much like any of the other BK spiritual-self progress groups.

This is not a complete list i was just remembering things off the top of my head. So now to the direct question.

In the posts initiated by the souls in female body we can see that many of the elements that comprise an IDEAL COUPLE are missing. In BK parlance both wheels are not on the same track! Storks and Swans are attempting to co-exist - this is impossible according to BKWSU teachings. Mark you these teachings are said to be GODS!

In the eyes of the person in charge of the centre where your men go, you girls would either be seen as co-operative or uncooperative (depending on how much trouble you give your man for trying to live a Godly student life). If you are uncooperative your man will be bombarded with 'sisterly love' and encouragement to hang on in there. Don't let go of Baba's (Shiva's) hand. If you are co-operative you will be praised and he too as having a commendable degree of detachment because you both would be demonstrating that Shiv Baba is your Number One. You may be at home while he is on 'service' .

Can i shut up now? Please. :lol:

Oh lest I forget, in BKWSU speak, the soul is really without gender. However, in order to convey the understanding that all souls get their divine inheritance from GOD (Shiva) the soul is regarded as male. It is only when the soul comes into a body is there the physical observation of male and female. In terms of soul consciousness we are all Brothers.

Please, I am not defending nor attacking any of this stuff just sharing the little that i know
which may give an insight into some of the stuff the brother may not have said to you about the BKWSU.

I have stayed away from factoring in anything related to the posters stories or the characters involved. I have only sought to shed some light on some of the BKWSU framework upon which we all hang our lives.

(Sorry guys, i been typing this for ages so maybe it is now redundant).

The blunt answer to Di's question is that the women's lifestyles are the scapegoat to be sacrificed at the altar of BKWSU high principles. The men are seen as Brahmin's while the partners are Shudras. The more you co-operate with the men the more they will feel that maybe you ar a bk after all but just need a little time. But they will respect you immensely for not 'interfering' with the boy's spiritual progress. THE SAME APPLIES WERE THE BOOT ON THE OTHER FOOT.

di
Friends and family of
Posts: 137
Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Location: Australia

Post by di » 02 Apr 2007

Very, very informative and helpful Abrahma. Not at any point redundant. So, in a way, a very twisted way, these men are actually not intending to decieve but to duplicate and attain the ideal brother/sister symbolic relationship and to direct it to Shiva the mother/Father and thereby winning the supreme approval. Hence another reason why he still asks me to go occasionally. I will have to re-read a few times before I begin to grasp the inferences.

Lots more questions, these are invaluable to me. They raise a different aspect and point of view. Often giving the answer in the asking. Thank you to all. Keep 'em coming if you do not mind.
Joel wrote:Your problem is with him, his behavior, your relationship with him, not the group
This reminds of another question ... the one about the chicken and the egg. I have said to hubby if he came home a loving, healthy, well-adjusted person who was genuinely develping spiritually, i would not have a problem with him going to BK. Are these people drawn to the BKs and encouraged to join because they have such deep unresolved issues? Does then the BK system then use these characteristics to mould the followers? If they did not have the characteristics, they probably wouldn't have sought the BKs. If the BKs couldn't use the flaws, they wouldn't have the followers. No disrespect meant by flaw. I just cant think of another word but you know what i mean.

I agree with Proy. I think Katie's situation is far more extreme than mine, even though there are so many similarities. My man has been rude, egotisticall and callous. Hers is being just plain evil and nasty. Mine is not trying to send me insane and mentally abuse me. He is spending enough time doing that to himself. Katie is in a much nastier situation.

User avatar
mr green
ex-BK
Posts: 1100
Joined: 07 Apr 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK

Post by mr green » 02 Apr 2007

Hi Girls

It happens a lot with men too but they tend to take a different approach, being men.

I was a teacher at a centre and have seen it all, men would tend to ring up and threaten us with violence, sometimes even turn up at public meetings and half way through proceedings they would stand up and tell everyone about the Cycle and God and Destruction and celibacy. The very things we were trying to keep secret.

Men are much more likely to explode and get drunk than try and find a way to express and share their feelings. Generalisation, I know, but these things I saw. I saw many women being guided away from their partners, succesfully sometimes, leading to divorce and messy children issues.

I am not putting boys down here (I am one) but they tend to explode then go into depression.

User avatar
abrahma kumar
Friends and family of
Posts: 1133
Joined: 23 Jun 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Contact:

Post by abrahma kumar » 02 Apr 2007

Hi Di, for motive we have to go deeper and wider into the cases I think. But some may be very strict and maintain a position that from the moment that these men knew and were inclined to adhere to the principles of BKWSU student life they should have communicated with ther loved ones.

But is this any different from him not telling you that he was a bit if a lad when younger and has a number of ex-girlfriends that drink at the local you and he both go to? Rather than have you observe his ease in the company of women you see as strangers. In this scenario I am opening up slightly to the case that any human getting himself/herself involved with these institutions ought to do so fully open-eyed'. But typically we go to these organisation 'just as we are'.

The situation may be unique and fraught with a special brand of danger but 'nowt queer as folk' so the saying goes. We take such risks all the time.

I am not trivialising here but attempting to open up something that the BKWSU and other such institutions ought to do without exception: DUTY OF CARE!

As Chaka Khan sang: I feel for you

User avatar
proy
ex-BK
Posts: 489
Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: Started as BK became ex-BK here

Mid-life

Post by proy » 02 Apr 2007

I just talked with my wife about the similarities you all have here and this is what she came up with. How old are your men? Am I mis-remembering this or did someone once ask if this might be a "Mid-Life-Crisis" that they are going through. Sometimes called the "Male Menopause".

This is no joke for a man. At around age 50 years the man's sex drive diminishes very rapidly.

What my wife said is that maybe your men, if they are around that age, will be experiencing this. Then maybe they will feel inadequate, not the manly people they felt they were before. Then next they could convert this feeling of inferiority into the reverse. If it is good, according to the BKs, to be celibate, then a much reduced sex drive will make that celibacy easier. They will then see their new reduction in sexual arousal as an asset. The BKs say sex is wrong, dirty, not spiritual. The men do not feel so much like having sex as often as they did before. So they are more spiritual, which is good. So they feel better about themselves.

Then the BKs say it is not only no sex, but also no touching. They do not want sex so much but they still want a cuddle. I think one or two of you said your men like a cuddle still.

This is starting to make sense. I am glad I asked my wife. What she says is true. It is what I felt. In some ways it is a relief not to be aroused so often since I was over 50 years old. I am no longer a slave to my hormones. But the self-esteem thing. Yes, it was not conscious for me at the time but she is right, I felt less of a man and celibacy was a good way to turn the situation around.

Even if they are not that age maybe, my wife said, they have a low sex drive anyway, or they are afraid of sex. Many men are afraid of sex. They do not admit it to women, but they are afraid that they will not "perform" well. The same logic then applies. Find a group of women who will praise them and give them approval for not wanting sex. Join the BKs, where celibacy is an asset. Then they do not have to be afraid.

Hope this helps.

User avatar
jannisder
Friends and family of
Posts: 454
Joined: 29 Jan 2007
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Location: europe

Post by jannisder » 02 Apr 2007

I finally told my dear friend overseas about my concerns and she will be a reading companion on our posts. So happy you are here.

And after our little emotional chat today during our lunch together, as in down hill on the roller coaster, he said that we on the forum are all wrong. He will not step out the organisation because he will not be able to give Raja Yoga anymore. (?)

Being with me is his business and whatever the organisation does is not his business, and he doesn't care. What they do or say at centres all over the world is not his problem. I told him to come on the forum for we can learn from him then if we all don't understand the knowledge in his opinion.

For him to come to this forum and talk to us is just a waste of time, and what we do is just the drama. It has to happen, so be it! We misinterpretate the Murli and I should not read it but come to the centre to listen. I told him that that is just what they want me to do, to get me in. That is not true he said, he wants me to hear the truth and the right interpretation share it with me so I can be ... like him?

To be detached is all he wants, but that is hard he said. He is not all detached yet. Purity is what he wants and it is the only way to live. After his last relationship, it took him 8 months to get back his power so he said. That is Maya taking his power. I am not Maya to him! He got me in tears again and felt bad about it. He said he was sorry to give me sorrow.

Why is he still so dXXXX nice to me if he wants to be detached? Seeing that over and over again, also that I misinterpretate, talk on the forum and giving him all this problem-talk at lunch.

So down hill again.

Love Jan.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests