Hello to all, this seems to be a respectful forum.

For newcomers to the BKWSU, AIVV and this forum.
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Pharista
Posts: 1
Joined: 05 Oct 2010
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: I was deeply involved with the BK's from the period 1988 - 1993. I have never let go of my love for Baba or the knowledge I learned and worked out my subjugation issues independent of the organisation or the need to reach out for ex-BK support. In recent times I have been pulled to my spiritual beliefs very strongly and also find I am winding up my attachments etc in preparation. I do not feel a pull to return to being a BK but am open to exploring more about PBK's to find out if my future path lies there or not.

Hello to all, this seems to be a respectful forum.

Post by Pharista » 07 Oct 2010

I am an ex-BK in terms of moving on from the organisation but I have not strayed too far from the knowledge or values, my relationship with God is very close and I feel him guiding me often. I have for the most part kept a pure diet although I did eat fish and eggs for some time. I chose to return to celibacy two years ago but have mostly been so througout the last 17 years since I left the centre.

All in all, I feel I have kept my spirituality going very well and recently feel strongly pulled to spiritual lifestyle and more meditation practice though I do not feel I would fit within the organisation. I believe there are many souls like me out there and I have another ex-BK sister nearby, she is a very lovely person with deep love for God. We meet when we can for spiritual chat and meditation, we are a good support to each other and both have a lot of love for God.

I was in a centre for 4 years and was in Gyan for 5, I visited Madhuban five times and had a special love for it. I did find centre life difficult and the schedule demanding and stressful - I was grieving for a major loss and was very vulnerable when I found Gyan and before I knew it I was taking the 7 day course, assisting with programmes, taking classes and then co-running the centre - I was shellshocked and dutybound but I had not dealt with the huge amount of unresolved grief and trauma I was carrying inside. Being gentle natured, I was not so good at standing up for myself or setting personal boundaries in those days. I would say "haji haji" but I felt drained and confused for much of the time.

I hope my honesty does not offend, I do not hold blame of the BK's for any challenges I had during my time with them, each individual is working through their own issues and these clash in BK life just as they do anywhere else, I have long ago made peace with the sister I had problems with back then - we both owned the problem, part of it was mine and part was hers and since then I believe we have both gone on to heal and transform ourselves, we are not the people we were back then (thank goodness, that's what it is all about! :laugh: ). For a long time, I went on to have the same challenges in other connections and relationships until I was ready to learn the lesson that I kept repeating continuously for myself like my very own groundhog day.

I came from a childhood of emotional deprivation, trauma and loss, and I suspect these experiences happened long before this birth too. It was so deeply ingrained in me that I was less and everyone else was more that I continued to take poor treatment from others in my life as 'normal' behaviour, I was attracted to such relationships like a magnet because then my false core beliefs could be affirmed! It is a kind of dance really that plays over and over until the lesson is learned.

Finally around two years ago, I managed to overcome my deep sanskar of subjugation, I have reclaimed myself and let go of the many false unconscious beliefs I used to have....I am not loveable, I am not important, I am not worthy, I am invisible - all totally false and untrue. These beliefs were so deeply ingrained that even with God's knowledge, I was for the most part unaware of them (like a fish in water unaware of the water's existence even though it is in and around it). I fed these insecurites by being subserviant, compliant and a people pleaser - I prefer not to use the word co-dependency but I guess that is what it would be called in clinical terms. Thankfully I have broken the chain of that now and I am in a position to teach my children to be self empowered, compassionate and spiritual people with good personal boundaries to protect themselves from any emotional harm that may be projected on to them.

I continue to work hard on myself on a daily basis and as I get stronger, the less of a dumping ground others find me to be and the less I assist them in deepening their own unconscious false beliefs and sanskars of control and dominance - standing up for myself is also showing compassion for the other. This is the first time I have posted on a BK forum but from what I have read on the boards since they started appearing, is that there has been a lot of pain and trauma for so many who have walked the BK road and moved on. I would urge anyone with these kinds of wounds to seek professional therapy, in time you can heal - I would urge anyone still caught up in the difficult situations like I mentioned above, to do the same and learn to set personal limits and boundaries with any human being that is dominating or controlling you whether they be BK or otherwise.

I moderate on a spiritual forum with people who have experienced subjugation from all walks of life, religions and backrounds - we all share a deep love for truth and I have learned to not not be afraid to speak my own truth nor do I shrink back from encouraging someone else to do so. The forum was a supportive life line to me in my early recovery days, and now I can give back there myself and keep learning too - it helps people through support and information on how to recover from challenging relationships where they played the victim or subservient role and allowed others, whether family, spouse or friend or co-workers to dominate them. It is a serious modern day sickness on both sides - the internaliser (turns insecurities inwards on themself) and the externaliser (projects them outwards onto others). I was inauthentic and deeply afraid of rejection when I was in BK life and beyond it - now I am an authentic person with self love and value, I have no intention of abanandoning myself or my truth again. I am the same on the outside as I am on the inside and I feel much happier about that, though of course I still have a long way to go - warts and all as they say!

What God has in store for me or what my role from here is I cannot say but it appears to unfold as I go along. I am true to myself, my children and God - I do worry about this difficult time we are about to face (I have just heard the Danube is full of toxic waste and a new superbug found its way into the commonwealth swimming pool!) I guess those terror threats were not empty afterall! Rather than putting energy into fear I keep striving to lead a more and more authentic lifestyle, returning to natural ways of living, healing and conservation and of course staying as close to God as possible. I look forward to getting to know some of you here but I would prefer to remain anonomous using only my chosen handle.

Well I read on the welcome sticky that not many have been stepping up to make intro posts lately (I can understand why) so I thought I would be courageous and break the ice by becoming a member of this wonderful melting pot of spiritual folk. :D

Fond wishes, Pharista

Sach_Khand
Posts: 571
Joined: 02 May 2010
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-PBK
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: Seeking Truth and Truth only.

Re: Hello to all, this seems to be a respectful forum.

Post by Sach_Khand » 07 Oct 2010

Welcome.


:D
Sanjeev.

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arjun
PBK
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Location: India

Re: Hello to all, this seems to be a respectful forum.

Post by arjun » 07 Oct 2010

Dear Pharista,
Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your experiences with us.
I guess those terror threats were not empty afterall! Rather than putting energy into fear I keep striving to lead a more and more authentic lifestyle, returning to natural ways of living, healing and conservation and of course staying as close to God as possible.
Wishing you all the best in your endeavors.
OGS,
Arjun

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howiemac
ex-BK
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Joined: 08 Apr 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BKWSU
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: Brahmin soul, formerly with BKWSU, now independent
Location: Scotland
Contact:

Re: Hello to all, this seems to be a respectful forum.

Post by howiemac » 29 Oct 2010

I do worry about this difficult time we are about to face
While reading a Sakar Murli recently (not a characteristic behaviour for me..) I had an insight: we should not be focussing on destruction or even transformation of the world, but on creation of the Golden Aged world, a positive focus on divinity, balance, and perfect harmony between ourselves and the rest of nature. We have to create this and the creation starts with our own thoughts. The destruction of the old rubbish will happen anyway when the new seed has sprouted sufficiently. There is nothing to be gained by concentrating on the meltdown of our dying "civilisation". There is nothing worth saving, and it is beyond fixing.There is everything to be gained by focussing on what has to replace it :)

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Roy
Posts: 1318
Joined: 17 Feb 2009
Affinity to the BKWSU: questioning BK
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: I have been associated with Raj Yoga since 1985, and have only quite recently come to learn of the PBKs and this forum, which i find a great place to get deeper insights into all things Gyani, and hear input from many sides. I find this most healthy, stimulating, and informative, and hope this continues for some time to come.
Location: UK

Re: Hello to all, this seems to be a respectful forum.

Post by Roy » 15 Nov 2010

Welcome Pharista, i really enjoyed reading your post, as i, and i am sure many others, can relate to your experiences.

All the very best with your future efforts, for further spiritual enlightenment and growth.

Also... many thanks to arjun, and all the other souls, that keep this great forum going... i've been away for a while for various reasons, but am very pleased and grateful, to find that it is still going strong.

My best wishes go out to you all.

Roy

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arjun
PBK
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Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: to exchange views with past and present members of BKWSU and its splinter groups
Location: India

Re: Hello to all, this seems to be a respectful forum.

Post by arjun » 16 Nov 2010

Roy,
Welcome back to the forum. Yes, the activity on this forum has been increasing with the increase in number of members. But of late I have been receiving a lot of brickbats. So, I suppose I am not worthy of your appreciation. ;-)
Have you been writing on the bkinfo forum or any other forum?
Regards,
Arjun

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Roy
Posts: 1318
Joined: 17 Feb 2009
Affinity to the BKWSU: questioning BK
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: I have been associated with Raj Yoga since 1985, and have only quite recently come to learn of the PBKs and this forum, which i find a great place to get deeper insights into all things Gyani, and hear input from many sides. I find this most healthy, stimulating, and informative, and hope this continues for some time to come.
Location: UK

Re: Hello to all, this seems to be a respectful forum.

Post by Roy » 17 Nov 2010

Many thanks Arjun, i very much appreciate your welcome... it is good to be back!

I do think you get a hard time on here Arjun... when i feel you try very hard to be courteous and helpful. I also admire the way you endeavour to be humble when you are criticised. However, is it not the greatest souls, who receive the most flack... so you can take heart, that you are probably on the right road! :)

Also, it is very easy to criticise others apparent shortcomings... when unless we are perfect(i am not quite there myself, just yet!) :), we have many ourselves. What's that saying, about those who live in glass houses.... :)

There is bound to be a little "heat" on here from time to time, as there is strong feeling about this most wonderful Knowledge, and what is the true meaning of what Baba(Shiva) is saying, in the Murli. But imo, we should all endeavour to count to ten, before we bark back at one another(something i have to work on myself, i might add)! :)

I haven't been writing on any other forum... i feel i have more to learn, than to offer right now. But i will contribute, if feel i have something worth sharing with my brothers... just don't hold your breath! :)

My health has not been good for many years, although it has been improving overall, albeit very slowly. I sort of shot myself in the foot though, a year or so ago, by undertaking a detox regime, that i probably shouldn't have in retrospect, as it knocked me for six, both physically and mentally. It's only just lately, that i have found my intellect waking up enough, to get back on the horse of more serious effort making once again... and it does feel good i must say! :)

Best wishes to you Arjun(and all the other brothers and sisters who frequent this fine forum)... i for one am very pleased to find you still taking the flack, and coming back for more. Nice one my brother! :)

Roy

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arjun
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Location: India

Re: Hello to all, this seems to be a respectful forum.

Post by arjun » 18 Nov 2010

Dear Roy,
Thanks for the kind words of encouragement and best wishes. I hope I can continue to serve on this forum with the support of God and friends.

I wish you speedy recovery and good health.

OGS,
Arjun

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Roy
Posts: 1318
Joined: 17 Feb 2009
Affinity to the BKWSU: questioning BK
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: I have been associated with Raj Yoga since 1985, and have only quite recently come to learn of the PBKs and this forum, which i find a great place to get deeper insights into all things Gyani, and hear input from many sides. I find this most healthy, stimulating, and informative, and hope this continues for some time to come.
Location: UK

Re: Hello to all, this seems to be a respectful forum.

Post by Roy » 18 Nov 2010

Dear Arjun

Many thanks for your kind wishes regarding my health.

I certainly hope you continue to serve on this forum for some time yet, as it would not be the same without your very valuable contribution.

I am finding the PBKs stance regarding the Knowledge, hugely persuasive and compelling, and am emersing myself in studying all things to do with the AIVVs teachings, that are available on the various websites(what a great boon this is), which I am very grateful for. The internet is as a great instrument for service and openness... and the PBKs for my money, are showing the way here.

I am sure at some point, i'll be troubling you with questions regarding all of this, but that is some way off yet, as there is much to read and churn on. I am also finishing off my Bhakti, by listening daily, to this lovely song with beautiful pictures of Shiv Shankar, who i've fallen in love with! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd16ThlI3Oc

The thought of Shiva - Krishna(Brahma) - Ram(Prajapita), all working together through the Chariot, Shankar, is very exciting! :)

All the very best to you

Roy

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arjun
PBK
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Re: Hello to all, this seems to be a respectful forum.

Post by arjun » 23 Nov 2010

Roy,
It is interesting to know that you are studying the PBK philosophy. My only advice would be that you take the plunge only after you have understood it fully and also after you are completely aware of the negative publicity about AIVV and Baba Virendra Dev Dixit (especially all the negative comments made on this forum). Yes, I am ready to clear any of your doubts to the best of my knowledge either through this forum or through email. Alternatively you can also write directly to AIVV / Baba at a1spiritual@sify.com
Regards,
OGS,
Arjun

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Roy
Posts: 1318
Joined: 17 Feb 2009
Affinity to the BKWSU: questioning BK
Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: I have been associated with Raj Yoga since 1985, and have only quite recently come to learn of the PBKs and this forum, which i find a great place to get deeper insights into all things Gyani, and hear input from many sides. I find this most healthy, stimulating, and informative, and hope this continues for some time to come.
Location: UK

Re: Hello to all, this seems to be a respectful forum.

Post by Roy » 26 Nov 2010

Dear Arjunbhai

Many thanks for your comments regarding my last post, it is always a pleasure to hear from you. :)

Your advice is very wise and balanced, concerning my approach to any involvement with the AIVV. This in itself speaks volumes to me, both about yourself, and the organisation you represent. There will always be negativity surrounding something as controversial as the Knowledge(PBKs,BKs) it's pretty potent stuff is it not(understatement of the year there)! :) So it is always wise to look at something like this from every angle, with as much detachment as you are able to muster, and to give yourself time to let everything sink in and settle, before finally making your own decision, as to where you stand on such a matter. This is nothing new of course is it... Brahma Baba(Dada Lekhraj), was not exactly loved by everyone, and i believe many accusations were thrown his way too. This is a Drama though is it not... we are advised to see it as a game in the Murli. It is a tamopradhan(impure) world, with much Karma to be dealt with. Baba has said in the Murli, that we children, will settle our karmic accounts through our relationships with our fellow Brahmins, and of course, this makes absolute sense, as we've spent rather a lot of time together, in this big ol' Drama of ours. I love it, that we've all(BKs, ex-BKs, PBKs etc) come together on this forum and others, to share our experiences and views... let us all try to remember, that we are all brothers at the end of the day, and have as much love and respect for each other as is possible, no matter where we stand on an issue.

Thank you also Arjun, for you cooperation concerning any queries i may have in the future, plus the AIVV email address, the thought of which is a little scary for me at this time... big stuff! :) I look forward to many future contacts with you, on this forum, and via email in the future.

All the very best my brother

Roy

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arjun
PBK
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Location: India

Re: Hello to all, this seems to be a respectful forum.

Post by arjun » 27 Nov 2010

let us all try to remember, that we are all Brothers at the end of the day, and have as much love and respect for each other as is possible, no matter where we stand on an issue.
We all need to implement this in real life.
plus the AIVV email address, the thought of which is a little scary for me at this time... big stuff! :)
You can take your own time :cool:

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