[Email to BKWSU in Tampa] BKs need to ANSWER these questions

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arjun
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Post by arjun » 03 May 2007

paulkershaw wrote:I am a big advocate of love in all its ways. I could suggest that you also repeatedly inform your mother that you love her (in your very sweet way) but at the same time also inform her that her behaviour is unacceptable too. It'll take lots of courage but then she'll also have to absorb the full impact of what you're saying if she hears it often enough.
Dear sister sweetsajani,

Hello. Thanks for your reply to my posts. I agree with paulkershaw's views quoted above to a great extent. If you want your family to remain united, you would have to respect your mother's feelings also to a certain extent while expressing your feelings in a loving and dignified manner. My experience says that love cannot be extracted from any relationship forcibly. Love has to be won/earned with love and perseverance. True love also requires some level of sacrifice/compromise. While your mother needs to spend more time with you and be conscious of your needs, at the same time you need to allow certain degree of religious and personal freedom (like practicing celibacy).

I understand that you plan to invite your dad and mom to this forum. So, my humble suggestion to you would be to practice some kind of self restraint while divulging your views about your family. You can be the best judge as to how much you should divulge. Being from an Eastern/Indian background, your parents may not like all that you might have written about your mom here. However much an Indian man may fight with/scold his wife at home, but he would never like his wife to be insulted by anyone including his own children.

I am nobody to give you advice, but please think over the above suggestions and ignore them if they don't suit you.

With warm wishes,
On Godly service,
Arjun

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Post by sweetsajani » 03 May 2007

Hi arjun,

as of now, my Father doesn't care anymore. Once again, we have been compromising with her for the past 6 years, including telling her how much we love her, but every time we do that she goes furthur into it. Naina bhen and other ladies tell her that "now that everything is in control you should become a regular devotee again". Its like they tell her to stop practicing for a week and then drag her back into it.

Your advice is correct but only for those who are new. My family has been through it for six years now, with a bunch of sacrifices. It's not even compromise ... it's PURE sacrifice from our side. We tolerate the fact that she doesn't like coming out with us. We tolerate the fact that she doesn't participate in any family events. We tolerate the fact that she doesn't want to take care of us. But the only reason we tolerated all this was because I was there for my siblings and I made sure they never felt like they did not have a mother with them.

I did everything I could for them, took them to their games, helped with their homework, got them ready for school, attended their school functions EVEN on Mother's Day, took them shopping for school items, hosted their birthday parties, changed their diapers, fed them since one of them was only one years old.

On a furthur note, I decided not to go to the colleges of my dreams (which i got accepted into!) just so I can stay home to take care of my siblings and Father. I would continue sacrificing forever but its too much now. Every single day, all my relatives tell my family, "What would you do when Pooja leaves and gets married" and I realized they're right. I will be going away for graduate school in two years, and i want to make sure everything is OK before i leave.

The problem with most BKs is the more freedom and love you show them ... the further they get away from you taking advantage and thinking that they're right ... I am sorry that i cannot take your advice because i have been doin exactly what you said for 6 years ... it's too much now ... if love and compromises ... ******* forget compromises ... SACRIFICES worked ... then it wouldn't be this bad today ... !! Thanks anyway.

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Post by fluffy bunny » 03 May 2007

arjun wrote:Love has to be won/earned with love and perseverance. True love also requires some level of sacrifice/compromise. While your mother needs to spend more time with you and be conscious of your needs, at the same time you need to allow certain degree of religious and personal freedom (like practicing celibacy).
I think the issue that you are overlooking here Arjun, and I point this out because I know you are sincere in your path and it might help others, is that this woman is a little mentally ill and that Gyan can be a GREAT mask for individuals that are mentally ill. Many BKs are slightly mentally ill but the game of Shrimat gives them an excuse to play out their illness.

It is also true to say that the culture of Hindi society, e.g. shame, respect for parents even when they don't deserve it, acts as a curtain behind with BK can hide and get up to their games. Things have gone too far and it requires individuals like Sajani to speak out.

As a sincere BK/PBK you can immediately see how slapping family members, screaming and shouting, leaving a Daughter to act as a Mother - even of a 1 year old child - AND accepting the advice of other BKs sisters ... is all contrary to Gyan and an indication of someone that is mentally unwell. I do not think that ordinary standards of love etc apply when there is such psychopathic behvior going on. I also think that Naina Bhen and the other sisters are dabbling in very dangerous waters.

The issue of throwing in the right to "celibacy" with "religious practises", I would like to take up in the BK married couple topic.

Sajani,

as an aside, I am starting to wonder if your mother started by suffering from post-natal depression after the last child was born, or was she was cranky before she became involved in BK Raja Yoga? When was the last child born and when did she enter into BK life? Can you give us a timeframe?

If it is true that she has been neglecting her maternal duties to such an extent, then it improves your Father's claim. I think you are right in this case. Number One you have to protect yourself and the other children. If it is try that she has been neglecting her baby, then she is an 'unift mother', a legal term' and that is child abuse.

"BK", as she and the Tampa sisters are practising it, is not "a religion". Don't be duped. It is not Hinduism nor a Hindu sect. It is a destructive, brain washing cult. No religion would instruct you mother to do what she is doing. It is good that you speak out to document the reality of it. Hopefully it will make them change.

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Post by sweetsajani » 03 May 2007

Thanks ex-BK for understanding my point and for confirming it.

My brother was born in 98 ... and my mom started this stuff about a year and half later ... one of my mom's friend moved to the Lakeland area where Naina resides and she met Naina at some shopping complex, and you know being the indians that we are, my mom's friend went to her place and stuff. When my mom's friend went there, Naina had told her that she gets letters from Shiv Bhagwan and my foolish mother's friend believed it and called my mom. My mom came and attended it and slowly got into it.

My mom's friend got out because her husband heard crazy ******* about this cult. He told her right there and then that if she doesnt quit then he's going to leave her, so she quit, whereas my Father trusted my mother and let her go. My mom was fine for a year ... she did not quit eating onions and garlic and stuff. It all started slowly but she did spend a lot of time there, then by the time my brother was 3, my mom strictly went into it.

My mom was actually the happiest person at that time. My dad's businesses were prospering and she always wanted a baby boy so she was really excited. Her social life was perfect with amazing friends and she was healthy and everything.

My mom used to attend some BK meditation things in the past when she was about 22-23 but her mom and Father dragged her out of it because they knew the effects of the cult. So my mom claims that "baba has been calling her for all these years and now shes not going to put up with anyone's ******* and she will do what she wants".

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Post by fluffy bunny » 03 May 2007

SweetSajani wrote:So my mom claims that "Baba has been calling her for all these years and now shes not going to put up with anyone's **** and she will do what she wants".
Nice work Baba ... that is not actually a very pukka BK attitude but it is quite typical of the effects these women are having on families the world over. That is also NOT an original idea. The idea of "Baba calling her" is one that the BK sisters would have put in her head to encourage her and again is typical.

So how does she look after the kids now?

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Post by sweetsajani » 03 May 2007

Oh definitely, I am sure the idea is not original and that the BKs instilled that into her head along with all the other nonsense.

Right now it's the same thing ... but now the kids have stopped asking her to take them anywhere ... like my sister wants to go shopping this weekend and she immediately asked me if she's allowed to go and if i can take her and her friends ... none of them ask my mom anymore ... even if they want permission to go on a field trip; they get it from me. She doesn't help with them with homework and claims that it's because she doesnt understand it ... she studied English all through her life and was going become a lawyer ... I am sure she knows how to do 2nd grade work without doubt ...

A year or two ago she told us three kids that education is not important because the world is going to end. My sister cried a lot and was so afraid about the world ending. Since then i warned my mom to never EVER tell my sister anything, or my brother, otherwise she's going to have to deal with me. She used to force my brother and sister about 2-3 years ago to come to the center with her because the BKs would tell her to bring the kids. When i found out that they were being forced i told them they're never allowed to go there again and my siblings respect me so much that they listened immediately and since then has never went without my permission.

My mom forced them by emotional blackmail saying stuff like "you don't love me" etc ... my family is a very emotionaly, lovey-mushy type family, so it worked on those two immediately ...

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arjun
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Post by arjun » 04 May 2007

Sweetsajani wrote:I am sorry that I cannot take your advice because I have been doin exactly what you said for 6 years ... it's too much now ... if love and compromises ... **** forget compromises ... SACRIFICES worked ... then it wouldn't be this bad today ... !! Thanks anyway.
Dear Sister,

Hello. I am sorry for having reminded you of your pains once again. I understand that your mother has not implemented the Godly directions as contained in the Murlis in the correct perspective. Every direction given in the Murli is not applicable in case of every individual. That is the reason why ShivBaba says in the Murlis (spoken through Brahma Baba) that one must seek directions from Baba at every step and that Baba would give directions as per their individual circumstances. Since there is no Baba as such available for the BKs to seek directions in personal matters, they approach the local BK teacher or any other senior BK, who gives directions according to his/her limited understanding of the knowledge.

Anyways, I appreciate your courage and the sacrifices that you have made for your family. I sincerely hope that you are able to overcome your problems before your marriage so that your siblings do not feel insecure after you have left.

By the way, have you shown the Murli points that I quoted to your mother? What was her reaction to it?

With best wishes,
On Godly Service,
Arjun

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note: If anyone from the BK Administration is reading this thread they should definitely take note of the chaos caused in the personal life of Sister Sweetsajani due to the interference of the local BK teacher in her family matters. I understand that the BKs have a Dadi incharge (Dadi Ratanmohini) of all BK teachers who looks into the complaints against any BK teacher. I don't know if her jurisdiction extends to the BK teachers of the foreign countries also. They should try to speak to the concerned teacher and Sweetsajani's family and help them overcome their difficulties before the situation goes out of control.

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Post by fluffy bunny » 04 May 2007

Good advice. Write a letter, not an email, to the senior sisters and work the system.

Detail everything that Naina Bhen of BK Tampa and the other sisers are doing, the behavior of your mother especially with regards the child neglect and how it is effecting you and your family.

Tell them that you are taking legal advice and will take this matter further. A complaint to the United Nations Department of Information to ask why the UN is sponsoring the BKWSU would be a good idea.
  • Dadi Ratanmohini
    Teacher Complaints Department
    Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University
    Pandav Bhawan
    Post Box No. 2
    Rajasthan, Mount Abu 307501
    India
Copy it to
  • BK Mohini Panjabi
    BKWSU office
    866 United Nations Plaza
    Suite 436
    New York, NY 10017
    USA
Note that the BKWSU does not openly offer any details of how and where to put in complaints, nor does it operate a Duty of Care or Ombudsman system like impure Kali Yugi organizations of its size do. In short, it acts like an autocratic cult rather than a professional NGO.

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Post by arjun » 04 May 2007

ex-l wrote:Write a letter, not an email, to the senior Sisters and work the system.
If you are writing a letter you could send it by registered post with 'acknowledgement due' and also send a copy of the same letter to the official email ids of Madhuban, Mt. Abu and the BK headquarters of US.

Regards,
OGS,
Arjun

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Post by bansy » 04 May 2007

The BKWSU also has a "Youth Wing". You should also write to them, since they hold youth programmes all over the world.

See the full link here : http://www.brahmakumaris.com/aboutus/youthwing.htm

You can also google 'BK Youth Wing'.

When you write a letter, try to send copies to several addressees, so that one does not get lost in the post. At the top of the letter, as you would do in an email, add "CC" to list the other addressees you have sent the letter to.

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Florida BKs

Post by proy » 04 May 2007

SweetSajani wrote:What other things have the TAMPA BKs done????
See this thread for starters - Florida BKs BKWSU trial by media begins with UK Prime Minister's wife?

Also Waddy is the head of the BK IT Team, who engage in dirty tricks on the internet to cover up any criticism of the BKs. Check out the Wiki dispute pages.

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u replacing the mother!!too young 4 that!

Post by alladin » 04 May 2007

Dear sister Sweet Sajani,

I am sorry to hear that for years you had to play the mother role in the house with your siblings, going for second choice college and taking time off from studies and your youth. This is serious stuff. And it's been going on for years!

You people had a lot of patience, put up with a lot of s****. Neglecting children that way!? How come your dad hasn't kicked his wife out long before, and is everyone relying on you? And if female close relatives step in to help, they get attacked by your mum! She even gets jealous! Sure your dad hasn't got the right to be jealous about Bhagwan or the sisters at center! :roll:

But you kids all will suffer in the future from this abandonment phase. Your sense of worthiness, self esteem and so on, big repercussions on the psyche! And, yes, mothers dragging young children to centers, wanting them to follow bk timetable or joining boring retreats rather than having proper normal vacations. I have heard that before and the outcome was uncontrollable grown up children full of hatred, resentment towards the mother and total rebelliousness.You reap what you sow! Nothing new!

Gosh, the day this becomes a court case, it will make the BKs shake, and hope the ripple become a tsunami.

Love and peace.

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Big Mohini BKWSU

Post by fluffy bunny » 11 May 2007

Saj,

this also goes out to Katie and Di, I found an interesting quote from Big Mohini,
Sister Mohini spoke on behalf of the Brahma Kumaris whose purpose is to serve and nurture all sectors of life, including media professionals, through conversation and reflection - so that each individual can create his or her choices based on an awakened universal consciousness that will lead to the best result.
You might print a copy out and stick it on the fridge or something.
Mohini Panjabi, BK President of America wrote:Rediscover the Immortal Ties of Peace, Love and Respect.

Many of us hear an inner calling of some kind at some point in our lives. There is the desire to listen to that call and to act accordingly. However, the voice is not always clear and there is a chance that the true purpose of the message can get mixed with the personal mission of our lives. When one starts listening to the call, the first thought that comes is: I need to be an instrument for love, peace and service to humanity.

When I first listened to the knock on the door of my heart I felt a deep urge to seek out truth and to go deeper into the understanding of values and virtues to be used on the journey of my life. I also felt that when I am spiritual, not only would these values and virtues reflect easily in my thoughts words and relationships but there was a great sense of being comfortable with who I am. My response to this call or knock was that I found myself becoming more introverted naturally and as a starter I included in my daily routine time dedicated to spiritual study and the practice of meditation. I recognized that my spiritual growth was the bedrock for my physical and material wellbeing.

To understand that spiritual virtues are innate in every soul and to apply this universal principle in my relationships with people, matter or nature, and God, made my interactions more enjoyable and my way of living more sustainable. I began to appreciate the fortune of being an instrument. For me, an instrument is one who listens to the call of God, the Supreme Guide for clear directions in life. An instrument is one who, on receiving these directions gives back in an unlimited way.

My deepest realization is, as an instrument working for peace I need to know, feel and experience what it means to be peaceful. I cannot emanate peaceful vibrations around me if I am not peaceful inside of me. Vibrations have a powerful impact. However, the power of the vibrations can only be as powerful as the instrument from which they originate.

This world is a beautiful field of action. The call of the time is for the actors to remerge their spiritual awareness and to re-establish the consciousness that we are all related at this level and that the tree of humanity is one family. The call of the time is to rediscover the immortal ties of peace, love and respect..

Forty years ago I answered this call and its message keeps getting louder with every passing day!

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Re: u replacing the mother!!too young 4 that!

Post by proy » 11 May 2007

alladin wrote:And, yes, mothers dragging young children to centers, wanting them to follow BK timetable or joining boring retreats rather than having proper normal vacations. I have heard that before and the outcome was uncontrollable grown up children full of hatred, resentment towards the mother and total rebelliousness.You reap what you sow! Nothing new!
Yes, I have seen this too. Repression is no good for anyone. Even worse for children and teenagers.

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Post by sweetsajani » 15 May 2007

I am back everyone!!! Sorry, got real real busyyyyy.

But back again ... anything new??? Have you guys seen the scientology thing on the news/television?? Well ... I've got some plans ... but I'll private message them to you all !!! do not want any BKs reading up on them!!!!

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