I am new to BK world and would like some help too

katie
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Post by katie » 19 Apr 2007

Hi again,

Still very confused. He wont have anything bad said about the BKs. I say to him that people on the forum have left through bad situation, money things etc and he just laughs it off!!

We had a very in depth conversation last night. He was going on about he cant turn his back on it as he can help the world. I went, "I just want a happy life in my family unit, if something bad is going to happen then there is nothing I or you can do to change this". He goes, "oh, I can change it ...". I mean who does he think he is!?! I went to look around people are chilling out and laughing, "you depress me all I want to do is go home and cut my wrists" (figure of speach sorry).

He said, "you need to understand me more". I went. "well. stop ramming it down my throat,
I need a break form it all feel like my head is going to explode". He said, "you do not study law but you listen to your kids talk about it". I went. "yes, but they do not try to false me to go to lectures, do they?".

OHHHHH ... i do not KNOW. Mad women rambling on sorry !!

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yudhishtira
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Post by yudhishtira » 19 Apr 2007

Katie, hi and welcome!

Its always difficult to comment on someone else's relationship but take it from me your partner is not being remotely spiritual. If he thinks he can change the world without respecting and loving you and the family, then he has no idea of what being spiritual means. Unfortunatly, many people join the BKs and think it is all about following a set of rules not about being. We are asked time and again in the Murlis (spiritual teachings) to be soul-conscious. That means that I see you as a spiritual being of positive qualities and I treat you with love and respect. (Unless I've been getting that bit wrong all these years ...).

He is basically, like the sound of many of these folks, (and I will continue to say this and not blame it on the "Honeymoon Period") not taking responsibility for his own feelings, and using the BKs as an excuse to avoid doing so. And if he's ramming knowledge down your throat and not listening to how you are feeling, he's definitely hasn't understood the truth about being spiritual. I call myself a BK, not because of the amount of people I manage to indoctrinate but because of what I believe, and what I try to practice in terms of my spirituality (try sometimes being the operative word ...).

I would encourage you to look after yourself, and am sending you and your partner love and good wishes (he sounds like he really needs them too ...). You are not mad either. Well done for seeking help and support for yourself.

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john
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Post by john » 19 Apr 2007

mr green wrote:I went to see an old friend of mine today who is still a BK. After chatting to her about how the whole history of the organisation has been fabricated, she politely asked me to stop trying to save her. At that moment I felt sad and knew I couldn't help her anymore ... only she can do that now. Mr Green
That is interesting and a bit scary at the same time. If the BKs wont listen and the Dadis know this, then what to do? Maybe we can only save ourselves.
yudhishtira wrote: And if he's ramming knowledge down your throat and not listening to how you are feeling, he's definatly hasnt understood the truth about being spiritual. I call myself a BK; not because of the amount of people I manage to indoctrinate, but because of what I believe and what I try to practice in terms of my spirituality (try sometimes being the operative word..)
I agree here, beyond telling you that it is ShivBaba or BapDada that speaks the knowledge, if you are not interested and have no faith in this, he should shut up about it.

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Post by proy » 20 Apr 2007

katie wrote:He wont have anything bad said about the BKs.
This happens a lot, even with people I know who have left the BKs many years ago. There is a lot of fear of saying "bad things" (actually just true things). Also there is a huge temptation to hide one's head in the sand. Not to listen to these "bad things". I was like that for a while. I even stopped reading this forum for a long time when I was a BK (I was a BK when I first joined this forum). I found that the truth as published here conflicted so much with what I believed that I could not live with myself in the mental state of confusion I had if I read the posts here. Am I making sense?

Anyway, you are not mad at all.

katie
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Post by katie » 10 May 2007

Hi Again,

Not been here for a while. Well, I do read everyone's posts, but been bit quiet ...

All was going well for me, to good to be true and I did not want to tempt fate so to speak ...

Had a great 3 weeks, since our last out burst, I finally started to think we was getting somewhere. He was my husband again, the man I love and fell in love with at the start. No mention of BKs at all. I was starting to relax again and take down my guard, as it does get harder each time these spells happen.

Till me and my big mouth :o. I was out down pub he was talking to a friend and I know they got in really deep about religion. Well, we got home I asked what he was talking about. He went you're not interested. Its nice to talk with someone who listens and knows where I coming from. So I did the bad thing and poo hoo-ed it. Saying he should read this forum. He defended the BKs straight away saying that the forum is load of rubbish and the people on there don't know what they talking about. I went, "I think you'll find they know a lot more that you ..."

With that he slept in spare room. I tried to apologise in the morning for what I had said but he just ignored. I texted him when got to work again saying sorry. No reply. I tried ringing, he wouldn't answer. I mean is this anyway to treat your wife? The women you are supposed to love. Ignored me last night and slept in spare room again. Then I get text as I am on way to work saying its not working out, I dictate to him what he can and cant do, re the BKs!! THAT HE IS MOVING OUT!! I am sick and tired of being threatening with this, I so just text him back saying I agree, "GOODBYE!!". Since then I have had a couple more texts saying I ignore his views on life, he reckons if I showed more views on his opinion than how beautiful I am then he might want to tell me more often. Oh, OK, then. I really want to know about his views on BKs just so my husband will pay me compliments. I do not think so !!!

So as far as I am concerned, its over. He has said he is going so many times before and not. Now I am sick of this roller coaster. IT IS TIME TO GET OFF ...

Another one bites the dust !!!

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Post by paulkershaw » 10 May 2007

Hi Katie

Relationships (in my experience) are so very difficult when communciation doesn't happen.

Looks like you've got someone who is using the excuse of lack of communication here, i.e he cannot seem to share with you but is quite happy to share with people in the pub. To me it would mean that he's put you in a certain catergory and you'd better not speak beyond that category at all huh? - he gets 'uncomfortable' when challenged on such a small level. We can all see that it is his problem here that is causing the issue

It is difficult for me to read these posts when I knows that the writer is really going through a difficult journey of their own and I say thank you for writing to us in this forum. The anger certianly comes up in me so I can imagine what you must be dealing with right now. At most times, we'll all close up around ourselves and take some time to get through the experience in our own way and so I know this is not easy for you. You've even tried standing up for us to your partner so I thank you for this ...

Whilst I cannot even presume to know how to make it easier for you, I am prepared to try and stand by you as much as I can either through you Pm'ing me or posting here on the forum.

Would you feel it beneficial if I wrote a 'private' letter addressed to your partner laying out some facts, would he in fact even read it, even if you left it lying around for him to 'find'?

Or would that be interfering too much? Please take care of your heart and of yourself in the meantime.

Love & Light
xxx P xxx
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fluffy bunny
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Post by fluffy bunny » 10 May 2007

paulkershaw wrote:he gets 'uncomfortable' when challenged on such a small level. We can all see that it is his problem here that is causing the issue
I remember watching a shining star of a BK disintegrate and then leave Gyan when I was still in. I remember her specifically saying that, "the BKs sold her the idea she was strong and special when in fact she realised then that she was weak and vulnerable".

BK life is full of "compensators". It has to be because when the "Honeymoon Highs" runout, which they will, individuals have to be sustained somehow. This "specialness" is one of Baba's and the Seniors Sisters, key tools. BKs are always being reminded about how special and superior they are ... even when the evidence suggests not quite. I am wondering if BapDada is running some therapy session especially for individuals with poor senses of self-value or self-worth. Either therapy or exploitation ...

Speaking Gyan, appearing so wise holding the marvellous polish diamond of Gyan, is another great compensator and "self-convincator" for BKs. They are "Masters Oceans of Knowlege", children of the supreme "Ocean of Knowledge". The Knowledge is a trigger for reminding or setting off the experiences they have or had once in meditation. it looks good but when you dig into the knowledge, as we do here, you see it falls apart quickly.

You cant get involved because it is all part of the ploy to suck you in. I, too, know well enough where he is at too and I would say it is pretty torn in two. I made a fool of myself in similar circumstance sucking others in, like a programmed junkie pushing junk. If anything I forgive him because he is not in his own mind any more. Just protect yourself, your home and your children in every practical way possible. do not kid yourself they are reasonable until it is proven.

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Post by katie » 10 May 2007

Thank you for your words,

it all got worse today, been totally ignored now. He left with no word, only a text message to say he is going. I cant believe our marriage has come to a end over a text message. I thought I was better than that ...

I hate the BKWSU for what they have done. I am hurting so much but have got to put a brave face on it all for my kids ... I do not really know how I am going to get over this. I know Di going through then same, and my heart goes out to her, but at the same time I never thought I'd end up in the same boat ... But heh ho !!! They have ruined another family, torn us apart. Yes I have my kids and family but it is not the same as the man you have loved and lost to a bunch of weirdos. Sorry for that but I am so angry by it all ...

Yes, its late here but do not want to go to bed on my own ... x

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BK Queens, their hives and sexless drone workers

Post by fluffy bunny » 10 May 2007

katie wrote:Yes, its late here but do not want to go to bed on my own ...
mr green? A lady is asking for you ( ... can you get the bit where the BK ex-husband walks into the bedroom and you are there sending Katie to the Subtle Regions on camera please?).

Poor you Katie. Which center is he at? May be we know his who his teachers are and can tell you about them. He seems to have a pretty fragile ego and the BK Sisters will be a wonderful retreat for him ... all sweetness and light and no commitment.

One free thinking, and now senior BK Sister once questions their use of the sexuality over "Brothers" in "service". Now obviously they do not deliver, but just the use of their "idealised sisterly love and feminity".

You can see how threatening you must appear to him when you have us to back you up on an intellectual (and may be even spiritual) level. Of course, collectively, we know our stuff very, very well and he will be afraid that we can spotlight FROM A Brahmin POINT OF VIEW what and where he is going wrong.

What I find remarkable is how all of these BK men, yours, Jannisder's, Di's and others, are coming out with the same stuff about us even though you are all in different countries and they have not read this website. Do you think the BKs are telling them what to say about us? You could see this as simple sexual politics, the BK Queens now stealing men away from other less "powerful" women and using them as sexless drone workers in their hives.

Men are attracted to power. Powerful women ... even better. I suppose it rings bells with there mother psychologies. But, don't worry. Knowledge is a virus and if he does leave you he knows he is going back into the hive carrying it now ... the knowing that the BKs cant hide what they do now. Document it all katie. Let the world know what the reality is all about and let the world decide whose side they stand on.

How BK followers treat their partners and how the BKs involve themselves in other's lives.

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Post by katie » 11 May 2007

Hi again,

I cant sleep, too much going on in head at the mo ... He goes to 2 centres Brentwood, Essex or Ilford.

I feel that the ball in my court a bit now. I do not understand the whole BK thing. Only what I have picked up along the way. More from this site that him as he is very narrow minded about it. I had many conversations about it to him where he gets on a high horse and rambles on and on as he thinks he is getting me sucked in.

Why do they get into relationships with women only to break their hearts?? Is that a nice thing to do? Why cant they stick with women who are BKs themselves and stop all this heart ache and broken families ...

I am angry with it all.

Stiil I better try and get some sleep or I am going to be fit for nothing in work ... xxx

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Post by proy » 11 May 2007

katie wrote:I feel that the ball in my court a bit now. I do not understand the whole BK thing. Only what I have picked up along the way. More from this site
That is why we are here for you. Oddly you will not hear much about the BKs from the BKs. Here is where you will get the whole story/picture. Thanks for being open about which centres he goes to, that will be a help to us.

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Post by fluffy bunny » 11 May 2007

proy wrote:Thanks for being open about which centres he goes to, that will be a help to us.
It is important to document which centers because they are all very airly autonimous to the extend that the Seniors will do or say nothing to them unless they are told many times and it becomes a problem for them. At the end of the day, the SS's job is a) keep the centers existing and b) to keep the numbers up. You might get a total insensitive, a nut or a controlf freak but if they get up at 4am every day, do not have sex and open the front door, then that is good enough for the SS.

It very much depends on the center-in-charge. They can say it is all about their invisible lover God Shiva BUT the human influences and dynamics of center life are very clear. Fresh blood BKs going through a Honeymoon Period are welcomed with open doors because they break the monotony ... and are likely to want to all sorts of work for free even be dragged into for teaching others the course.

I must be tough for center-in-charges though as they stop/cannot have any private life anymore. May be your husband will be asked to move into the center now? I think it is the same one mr green was at.

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Post by mr green » 11 May 2007

Brentwood not so bad, Ilford ... deadly.

I am really sorry to see another innocent family put through this sh*te.

Don't know what to say, except it happens to nearly all families associated with a member ... I wasn't married when I joined but I sure gave my dear mother and brothers the cold shoulder for 10 odd years ...

They have welcomed me back now, one of my brothers had the hardest time forgiving me for vanishing. He did not talk to me for about 7 years, and when he did it was to tell me he wanted to hit me!!!

My thoughts are with you Katie.

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Post by katie » 11 May 2007

I do not feel i have anything to hide with which centres he has been to ... it has nothing to do with me and I am in no way attached. I think they are all bunch of wa*****s.

Sorry for that but am so down by it all at the moment. Tired through lack of sleep, cant eat as I feel sick, drinking too much much to hide the pain. Where does it all end ???

I wish I had the answer, knew like di does. I have got to be strong but it soo hard, coming home to an empty bed !!! I cant stop crying. I loved the guy ... he has hurt me so badly. I was sucked in ... I will get strong as have got to be. Cant keep good woman down and all that ...

Sorry for going on but it is just hard. May be feel better after good nights sleep ...

Thank you everyone, I get a lot of comfort from your words.

xx

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Another BK Divorce

Post by fluffy bunny » 12 May 2007

katie wrote:Sorry for going on but it is just hard. May be feel better after good nights sleep ...
Katie, we might disappear off down obscure rabbit holes to debate philosophy and spiritualism but we are primarily here to talk to people like you being torn apart by them.

What has happend to you is genuinely awful and is clear an inditement of who the BKs have become and how they operate individually and as an organization. As with Di, Sajani and others, you bet that your little BK boy is running off to the center-in-charge or SS, telling them half the story and the center-in-charge or SS is giving them advice in return. As you see, the same story is repeated in every continent.

You are torn. You have had your heart torn. You are literally leaking your life blood out now until it heals. It is as though he was plugged into your heart and has now torn the arteries away. You have bled after and in bleeding you have just become weaker.

In my opinion, you married a married man. He was already married to the BKs. They actually call themselves "The Brides (of Brahma and then Shiva)". Those rings they wear are wedding rings. Just see it as the infidelity it is. He kept secret his first love, his "other woman". He was unfaithful to her and then he was unfaithful to you. If you understand it this way may be it will be easier for you to work out your feelings and how to fix it. My advice would be not to get involved with all the philosophical stuff. You cant beat them at that. It is designed so you cannot win and they have had 70 years of this stuff.

I think it is terrible and conscienceless to create such a scar on your life. Your marriage down the drain. Your loss of face. But just see it for what it is. A bunch of women stealing other women's men. A bunch of celibates whose god will not let them procreate, stealing other families' children to look after them financially.

They came to this country with nothing. Now they have first class air tickets, big houses, a temple, a country mansion, free labourers and people to drive them around in Mercedes. They have never actually gone out to work because in the old days, Dada Kirpalani paid for everything. Yet, they are pure and you are impure. They are knowledgeful, you are ignorant. They are going off to become Kings and Queens in the Golden Age, you are going to be crushed at Destruction and miss out on heaven on earth. That literally is essence of their teachings and what your man is buying into. He is giving them his soul for a lttle bit of their cake.

I want to talk to you about practicalities. You are married. Do you have joint assets? (I cant remember if you have kids). Are you facing a divorce now?

If you want an "instant" divorce one of you must divorce the other on the grounds of "unreasonable behaviour". In general one must present a divorce petition within no more than six months from the incident of unreasonable behaviour.

You may have very good grounds on the basis of his inability to engage in sexual intercourse as his religious convictions were not disclosed before marriage. It is similar to a woman who married a homosexual who did not disclose he was a homosexual. It would be good grounds because of the lack of disclosure and you would not have married him if you had known before. Any judge reading what the BKs believe in will give you a divorce without blinking.

You may not need a lawyer if there is nothing to fight over and he is not going to contest it. I would advise that you want out as quickly as possible. There are many resources on the internet to help you. You would be better spending your money on personal counselling than lawyers. Do not waste money on couple's counselling. Your average BK will run rings around any worldly therapist or counsellor. I am sorry not to be more cheery for you.

Best sort it out quickly girl. Stick around here if you want to chat about it. Come back when you feel better and your head is clearer and document the entire breakdown of your marriage due to the influences of the Brahma Kumaris. No need to be vengeful, just compassionate. Save some other poor women from going through what you are going through. If there is any question of joint funds or belonings, and he has any degree of spirituality, he should walk away from them 100%.

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