Why do BKs lose their friends?

for ex-Brahma Kumaris, to discuss matters related to their experiences in BKWSU & after leaving.
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jannisder
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Why do BKs lose their friends?

Post by jannisder » 03 Jun 2008

" First your family, then your friends become your enemies".

Is it because of how you start behaving towards them??

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yogi108
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Re: Why do BKs loose their friends?

Post by yogi108 » 04 Jun 2008

Jannisder,

It depends on what "Yuktis" you adopt ... while interacting with them.

Your mother cooks food for you and you, according to Shrimat, refuse to eat that ... Even Dharamraj wouldn't pardon you.

Your Boss says you have an important meeting to attend on Tuesday, you say, "its January 18th, I am not going to be there the whole day ...". You have just jepoardised your career.

Yogi

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Re: Why do BKs lose their friends?

Post by paulkershaw » 04 Jun 2008

... and it also depends on who and what one calls 'friends' ... some 'friends' I was pleased to lose, some I've still got. Those that stayed with me are true 'friends'.

Life changes and it doesn't always have to be the fact that we joined up with some cult that makes us 'lose friends' - when life changes some people go, some people change and thats it. Get over it I say.

is not this question/thread a little sensationalist in its nature?

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Re: Why do BKs lose their friends?

Post by fluffy bunny » 04 Jun 2008

I do not think it is possible to have "friends" post-Gyan. Especially the more serious you become. Its a bit like joining Herbalife or some multi-level marketing outfit. Everyone is a "service" opportunity and the ones that don't commit likely to be right "Kans".

Normal friend do stick around for a while but there is also something that feels condescending and artificial about being the recipient of "being serviced". Those old friends tend also to be "impure", have impure tastes ... relationships soon become impossible ... the BK starts to undergo personality changes and the pull of their old become uncomfortable ... their old friends anchor them in their old self. You cant go out to bars, cant stay up late, cant eat their food, cant watch movies, cant touch them, cant sleep with them, cant laugh with them, become disinterested in old talk ... the list goes on.

Then the sisters start calling on you to do service ... weekend exhibitions ... 7 days courses ... mega-programmes etc. You have no time outside of the religion. We should write an ode to "old friends". God ... they put up with ******* as we tried out all our new found wisdom on them ... honed our best service lines ... listened to the conditioning that was going on inside us ... consoled our parents etc.

BUT ... on the other hand, that is the "yogi path". The $64,000 question is ... is the Brahma Kumari path it?

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Re: Why do BKs lose their friends?

Post by jaycdp » 05 Jun 2008

Friends are always depending on your ambition. When your ambition is worldly then you have worldly friends. When your master is Jesus then you do not have any Islamic friends. When you are an American how can you have a friend in an Indian village? Honestly, I have very less connections with my pre-Gyan friends. Now I know how to create a friend I want. Before, it was anybody who like me who could have been my friend. Now, my identity is being questioned every day. Am I a soul. If I am a soul, what kind of soul am I? These kind of questions are haunting every bk and ex-BK, or even PBK, every day. Worldly people have no time or no tool to judge you, so they back up. They may call you weird. Some Christians or Muslims think you are possessed by evil spirit.

Om Shanti

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Re: Why do BKs lose their friends?

Post by jannisder » 06 Jun 2008

ex-l wrote: You cant go out to bars, cant stay up late, cant eat their food, cant watch movies, cant touch them, cant sleep with them, cant laugh with them, become disinterested in old talk ... the list goes on.
We go out to bars and restaurants, he eats my food, we watch movies and stay up late ... touch, sleep and laugh together and talk silly.

Should he as a teacher be banned??

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Re: Why do BKs lose their friends?

Post by jannisder » 06 Jun 2008

jaycdp wrote: When your ambition is worldly then you have worldly friends. When your master is Jesus then you do not have any Islamic friends. When you are an American how can you have a friend in an Indian village? Now I know how to create a friend I want.
How do you create a friend??

And, hey ... I have Muslim friends that do not fly into buildings, Islamic friends and even native Indians friends with reeeeeally weird beliefs. :D

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Re: Why do BKs lose their friends?

Post by fluffy bunny » 06 Jun 2008

jannisder wrote:We go out to bars and restaurants, he eats my food, we watch movies and stay up late ... touch, sleep and laugh together and talk silly.

Should he as a teacher be banned??
It amazes me ... this thing of banning is utterly arbitrary. They ban PBKs for believing, BK believers for being non-politically correct ... and then allow sisters-in-charge that have full blown sexual relationships and friends like yours to "teach", to stick around. One has to wonder what the active principle is? Keeping up good face ... money in the box ... desperate need to keep up the numbers perhaps? Its a charade.

Yes, he should DEFINITELY not be allowed to teach. In the old days, he would be required to follow full principles ... which a chart and daily appearances at the center for Amrit Vela and class ... for a year before being accepted as a BK and allowed to go to Madhuban. If he continued to keep having relationships after being censored he probably would be asked not to come to class - for fear of making the vibrations impure - and accepted only at public meetings.

Can someone tell me what is going on? Are the kings or priest caste of the BKWSU creating their subjects and followers for now?

Can BKs actually be "friends" with each other? Would that not be "attachment" and frowned upon?

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Re: Why do BKs lose their friends?

Post by bansy » 06 Jun 2008

Friendship is a relationship. A loss of a friendship occurs on both sides, so if a BK loses a friend, that friend also loses that BK.

Now comes the crux. BKs are the lost and found children. For 4900 years, that relationship or friendship with God, according to Gyan, is lost. Then within a matter of 100 years, it is found and renewed. So who makes that relationship in the first place, did the children abandon God, or did God abandon the children (at start of Golden Age) ? It takes at least two to make a relationship. And what kind of Father would take 100 years to look for his children only for that solid relationship/friendship to be lost for another 4900 years?

So what BK Gyan is saying is that within 100 years, the Father is able to do enough during the time so that the children are able to take care enough of themselves (e.g. create wars, pollute the world, elect US presidents, make bombs, spread diseases, wear Nikes, exciting stuff like that), and at the end of the Cycle decides that it is time to come back down to earth for him to turn up (and albeit occasionally during half the year) to form the old friendship/relationship again, by saying "Hey, remember me kid, I am your long lost dad", "I have no time to tell you where I've been so you now listen to what I say, in fact you MUST ... now drop everything ... or else ..."??

So let's ask the questions again, why do BKs lose their friends? Follow the Father.

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Re: Why do BKs lose their friends?

Post by arjun » 07 Jun 2008

sister Jannisder wrote:" First your family, then your friends become your enemies". Is it because of how you start behaving towards them??
Dear sister,

Om Shanti. I suppose you have quoted the first line from a Sakar Murli. If it is true, then, the reason for BapDada stating the above could be the requirement of celibacy, the belief that God has come in the body of Brahma, the rules related to food, etc. which may make first the family, then the friends as our enemies. Even Brahma Baba, who did not have any enemy prior to the beginning of the Yagya, had to face the situation of friends and relatives turning into foes. Same is the case with all the BKs and PBKs. Baba has said in a Sakar Murli (narrated through Brahma Baba) that the entire world would become your enemy. But that does not in any sense mean that BKs/PBKs have the liberty to develop enmity with anyone. They are required to maintain friendship and good relationship with everyone as far as possible.

In spite of the above, I feel that if you follow the Shrimat properly, you will not face as much opposition as is made out to be. If you are humble, friendly, accommodative, then the chances of your relatives/friends turning into foes is very less. I cannot speak for others, but I personally don't consider any of my relative or friend to by my enemy. But I am sorry if anyone considers me to be his/her enemy.
Regards,
OGS,
Arjun

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mr green
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Re: Why do BKs lose their friends?

Post by mr green » 07 Jun 2008

You actively distance yourself from them because, although it is not their fault (everyone is numberwise), they are filthy unclean shudras, the same as your family. They are there to be served and if their third eye or intellect doesn't open, then it is simply their fortune or destiny to remain locked in a cycle of interacting with mud and the dirty impure old world ... anyone need a speaker?

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Re: Why do BKs lose their friends?

Post by bkti-pit » 08 Jun 2008

ex-l wrote:Can BKs actually be "friends" with each other? Would that not be "attachment" and frowned upon?
I do have some very good BK and non BK friends and I value friendship a lot. I do believe in true friendship free from attachment but no, I haven't reached that fully but I prefer to have friendships with a little attachment than no attachment and no friends.

I have always been inspired by the friendship between the Dadis (or some of them). Does anyone think that there is no attachment between them? did not Brahma Baba himself have his favorite ones?

What's wrong anyway with having lots of affinities with some and much less with others? As long as we lovingly care for everyone, friend or foe, and remain fair and respectful in our relationship with each one.

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arjun
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Re: Why do BKs lose their friends?

Post by arjun » 08 Jun 2008

ex-l wrote:Can BKs actually be "friends" with each other? Would that not be "attachment" and frowned upon?
I don't think Baba has prohibited BKs/PBKs from being friends with each other, but He cautions them against being attached/familiar to any particular BK/PBK. He uses the word 'familiarity' in the Sakar Murlis to drive home his point. Here is a quote from the Murli point no.190 posted in the BK section:
“Those who become slaves to lust cannot be called Brahmins. Maya will trouble a lot, but one should not do anything (under the influence of vices) through the bodily organs. Even a slight intoxication of familiarity – this is also an intoxication of Maya. Baba has explained that one would accumulate burden (of sins) even through this. You became licentious. Godly children should not have the devils of lust, anger, etc ... BK is that person who has taken a pledge that he/she will never perform a sinful task. One should remember this. One should not cause pain to anybody’s heart. If he/she does so, then he/she is not ShivBaba’s child. ShivBaba comes only to give happiness.” (Revised Sakar Murli dated 01.02.08, pg 3 published by BKs in Hindi, narrated by ShivBaba through Brahma Baba; translated by a PBK; the words within brackets in the English version have been added by the translator to clarify the meaning)

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Re: Why do BKs lose their friends?

Post by jaycdp » 08 Jun 2008

Questions to arjun.
  • what is a sin?
    which sin is biggest sin?
    which sin is forbidden?
    which kind sin is to be excused?

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Re: Why do BKs lose their friends?

Post by jannisder » 09 Jun 2008

Your sin is forgiven!

Simple as that.

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